Yeah this is what I do. I got wise to that bullshit “spread the butter on the bread” method years ago. 

or......just add the rock hard butter to the warm pan, allow it to melt, THEN add the bread to the pan and swirl it around to coat, add cheese slices...

Mayo grilled cheese is inferior grilled cheese.

I was served Eggs Benedict once as a kid, and I didn’t want to eat them because they were weird-looking, so my dad said “oh, you loved these when you were little! You ate them all the time!” So I happily ate my eggs benedict. Years later, I realized I had to have been like, 4 or 5 when he told me that so I very much…

My mom had two memorable whoppers:

When I’m at work, my wife tells my kids that, “Only dads are allowed to install batteries.”

Umm if it’s not cheap then you might as well just order a real pizza. Cheap is the entire point of frozen pizza, no frozen pizza is particularly good(I've tried them all), so you get the cheap one.

My nearet Ikea is 3 hours way, so it’s like an event. I also don’t know how many times I’ve found something I literally didn’t know I needed, but would have solved some issue in my kitchen or something that’s been bugging me for years.

Shoot. My family makes a day of it and we often leave with nothing but a full belly. My daughter loves their meatballs and play area. After lunch our daughter goes to play and her mother and I get an hour to walk around and talk like grownups. We’ve been there so often we know all the ins and outs. We then finish the…

I am Ikea’s dream customer. I go in fully intending to eat meatballs and ogle things I have no need for. I always express my gratitude when Ikea provides me with big tote bags, pencils, and measuring ribbons. I follow the path. It’s too late for me! Save yourself!

What’s BOFA? Can I see it? I’m really interested in finding out what BOFA is.

Yes it would, my friend. Yes it would.

Hi Barry! Thanks for letting us all know that you don’t give a shit about workers! Cool stuff!

More importantly, airplane coffee is terrible. The last time I asked for coffee on a flight, I was given a cup of hot, brown liquid that tasted like it was brewed from leftover grounds strained through a dirty dish towel. 

My always #1 recommendation. When you find a sippy cup you like (We preferred Gerber), buy only that brand of cup. Ignore sales and special characters. Then your lids always match the bottoms and you’re not hunting around for a match.

“Fill in the blank: The best food to put an egg on is...”

Best advice is to follow through on consequences.  If you say, “We are leaving without you, you better be prepared to leave.”  If you don’t want to take it that far, then say, “We are leaving in 5 minutes.  I will carry you like a piece of luggage if you make me.”  And then carry that kid like a piece of luggage. …

We have shorthand for this in our marriage - Never Negotiate With Terrorists. We don’t have to give the ultimatum, but if it’s given, it has to be followed through on, or we’re sunk forever.

My background is customer/production support for integrated circuits, and IT. It’s funny that my kids think that they know what they are doing, and that dad’s an old fart who doesn’t know tech. But then my son for instance, will say or do something that shows he has no clue about the underpinnings of the tech he’s…