Unzueta continues his one-man mission to make Poe and Leia look the exact same age.

I tried. Keep fucking that chicken.

and just make the movie about Poe, Finn, and Rose.

The “divisiveness” we keep hearing about exists almost entirely in the heads of 47-year-old dudes on Reddit.

Bull fucking shit, she’s an accomplice. Can we stop sympathizing with cute women by default? Lots of Allison Mack stanning is taking place over her arrest, too.

Incidentally, if you’re wrong about the fundamental ordering of the universe, this kind of hatred will save you a seat there, too.

I can’t imagine Trump willingly attending someone else’s inauguration. If he had his way, he’d pull a Killmonger and make sure he couldn’t be succeeded.

After all, Hitler only made Donitz “president of the Reich”, the title of Fuhrer died with Hitler himself.

Melania gamely hyped up her husbands birtherism claims during Obama’s presidency. She’s not a passenger, she’s a copilot. At this point only Tiffany and Barron get any sympathy from me.

“Well how do you warm up the cream for your coffee?”

All the Doctor Who fanboys and girls that tuned in precisely because he was on the show are why he was paid more.

Take a show person A isn’t interested in.

Then add person A’s favorite actor. Person A will now at least check the show out. That’s value, and the actor should get compensated for it.

They’re fun films, but piss-poor adaptations. The Hobbit needed to be much smaller and not as fully integrated into Tolkien’s legendarium, which is how he wrote it: As a fairy tale with his more adult, serious stuff in the background, but not at the forefront. But Warners wanted another LOTR, and they basically had…

Ellis is one of the most clever film critics YouTube has on offer

I was 26, single, and living in my native Venezuela when the show premiered.

I am now 41, and have lived in the US long enough to qualify for citizenship.

This damn show will live to dance on my grave.

And yet within a few hours, your employers will be posting another Amazon-centric deals article.

Grab them by the Kapowski

“Hey bitch, theres one thing you need to learn, and that is it’s not other peoples responsibility to look out for YOUR child. If YOUR child has a peanut allergy then you fucking deal with it. Other people don’t have to watch what they eat just bc your and a couple other parents are ‘PC’.”

Welp, it’s 10am here in Pennsylvania. Right on time for our daily “let’s cannibalize our own side while the fuckwads in charge point and laugh” sesh. Good job, Sam.

It’s perfect, isn’t it? It parodies the excesses of 90s comics while simultaneously taking them completely seriously.

The first few times I saw her I thought her “persona” was great. Then I realized it wasn’t a character, she’s actually that obnoxious.