No writer ever resented being quoted anywhere, anytime. :)

I guess when Sean Penn is your dad you don’t see how fucked it is that Madonna is still friends with the man who tied her to a chair and beat her. :-/

It’s too bad my birthday just passed, this is full of so many great ideas. I’d get a sign that says “Happy Pear Shaped Birthday, Snacky”. Make everyone shove lumbar pillows down the sides of their pants, drink moderately priced craft beer and watch Scott Pilgrim (“Again?” yes, again).

I agree. I don’t get the appeal at all. If I’m gonna change my mental state, I’d rather drink alcohol because it leads to that great warm, floating happy space. Weed just makes me paranoid and want to self harm. People should be able to do what they want, but weed evangelists are really annoying

I don’t get why people like pot. It just baffles me. It’s worse than being drunk. But I hope we can end the dumb drug wars and legalize ALL drugs.

A child who is excited because he was just accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

There’s a great interview that she did - I think maybe it was with Seth Meyers? - where she said that as a child she wanted to change her name because no one could pronounce it, and her mother told her: “If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.” Truth.

Yes. It’s okay though, I have reached the point where sometimes I can’t even clarify for other people whether I’m being sarcastic or sincere.

I thought this was a Burning Man story for a minute.

I have just seen some shit, man. SEEN SOME SHIT.

To my surprise my editors thought it showed I could think quickly. I thought it showed we needed name tags for funerals.

I remember trying to make certain everyone knew I was OK with sex workers (since obviously it appeared they were OK with the concept) but that I just wasn’t one, just like I’m OK with dentists but I’m not one (I’m pretty sure I actually used that exact analogy), and that I didn’t have sex for money. Because that…

I basically babbled. Something along the lines of, “I’m so glad he has such an open minded and loving family, but I’m not a sex worker and I really only know him from the amazing stories my new coworkers tell me. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m sure I would’ve loved him but maybe not that way but maybe that way…

So a week after I started this job, a guy who no longer worked at the publication I worked for died in a car accident. I never met him, and he was a copy editor so it wasn’t like I was familiar in any way with him through what he wrote.
But nevertheless, the EOC said everyone needed to go. So I went. And somehow the…

You make it sound almost glamorous... and I love that you say it is misplaced, because it is like you have the old timey “hysterical lady” disease of “wandering uterus”... like it went wandering off somewhere and now you can’t find it ;)

She has brain damage: deal with it.

So talk to kids like you want to sleep with them?

I agree. It’s a half-measure and no one should be satisfied with it. But, up to this point, the police have been getting no disincentive whatsoever for killing people. Instead, they’ve been getting vacations and more support from the public than reprisal.

Well, he should probably be in JAIL but, you know, at least it’s not paid administrative leave.