uhhhh New Zealand is not Australia. I can be bothered to tell the difference between Canada and America.

fuck yeah mate, smoke cones erryday!

this is why we drink so much

Oh god, I’m awaiting the inevitable terrible cockney accent you’re going to do that you think is an Australian accent.

THANKYOU GODDAMNIT THEY NEED TO TO ENUNCIATE

I’m so obscenely late to this party, but I had a charming drunken stranger tell me in a nightclub that I had “a shit face, but great tits.” I had just found out I was being cheated on by a dude I was super in love with, and had gone out that night with my room mates in a futile effort to cheer myself up, so naturally…