i remember lying in bed with my daughter the night she was born and, with the profundity of the love that i had for her, feeling like every accomplishment and self defense had been stripped away from me, leaving me utterly vulnerable to the vicissitudes of that tiny life ... i would never again be free or…

have you been to wisconsin? different accent, same shit-for-brains christo-fascists

it's irrational and, well, bigoted to treat any population in the world as monolithic or so dramatically different from any other ... heck, even in north carolina there are gay people who want to get married!

let's not forget sunny california!

at this point, are "the caucasians" really worth saving? i mean, i'm one myself, but i'm willing to be sterilized lest i spawn the sort of monster who voted for this

i love the "it's just what i believe argument" ... never mind that there are men and women in north carolina who believe, strongly enough to actually vote, that they love someone of their same sex

that's a very studly looking pumpkin ... might i suggest a little trompe l'oeil this year?

to combat kitty suffering, folks like me catch, neuter, and release hopelessly feral cats ... when the shelter vet clips an ear, i and other animal welfare types can see at a glance that they are already neutered ... it ain't subtle, but the alternative would be to re-snare and drug them in order to get a look at…

pictures, please

whether or not this guy was a vet, i think i would have had a lunchtime boohoo over just seeing this guy run after looking so miserably incapacitated ... really inspiring

say it ain't so hillz! you are smart, wear snappy shades, have been a senator and kicked bigboy ass as sec of state ... besides, we've already seen your dirty laundry

wasn't barack obama in afghanistan last week?

the army is saying that capt. clark was not shot

no, i think there really is a bloke shortage once aussies hit the mid twenties ... something to do with young men tending to go overseas for higher-paying jobs in places like dubai

after this morning's tom cruise reveal, i'm gonna have pistols tatted on my hound dog's hips ... she's gonna be the baddest bitch at the beach

don't worry picky, past-sale-date sheilas! although you outnumber blokes by about 100,000, you can still try your luck in one of australia's "man dams", bush towns were marketable women wouldn't be caught dead ... the mayor of one of these idyls has even urged "beauty disadvantaged" women to move to his queensland…

i wouldn't mind government getting up in my oval office so much if it would just fondle my capitol domes first

the tmz video proves it: tan mom doesn't have a classy molecule in her body ... guess this means she's already in talks for her own reality show

aw, damn ... i meant selena ... stoopid smart phone

if promises - like, you know, to not go after medical marijuana, to reform our immigration policies, and to restore our civil liberties - didn't mean jack, i'm not going to bother to read anything into a " secret signal" about anything ... but, by all means, suit yourself