A spool of white thread?

I sort of have the opposite problem in that I think every white actor I see is Michael Fassbender (Tom Hiddleston, Sam Claflin, others I’m forgetting).

He must have some acting ability; Call Me by Your Name gets some respect for the cast, but visually, he is a kraft cheese slice with mayo on white bread. With the crusts cut off.

Excuse me sir, the baking soda is better known than his pasty patrician grandfather. Clearly he’s named after the baking soda.

Actually, he’s named after his grandfather, head of Occidental Petroleum, Armand Hammer. The company eventually bought the parent company of Arm and Hammer but well after the brand was established. Probably as a joke.

I guess he’s named after the baking soda, since he’s from the baking soda family. (And when you know his name is Armand Hammer and he’s heir to a baking soda fortune, the cannibalism stuff just seems to make sense.)

We are once again asking you to not focus on our take on Armie Hammer from earlier this week

This week, on “Jezebel walks back its hot takes. . . ."

His real given name is ARMAND HAMMER. Like, I can't... I just can't.

You know, it’s a really common thing that happens, that a lot of people mistakenly think they are face-blind, when in actuality, they are only looking at a picture of Armie Hammer.

Someone please tell me Bridesmaids was not 10 years ago

Leave Riggins out of this!

Annie was a self-centered trainwreck of a person in the first movie. That critique would continue. Also, a person doesn’t “have it all” just because they have a good relationship. Yikes.

There should be a sequel to Reno 911: Miami.  

armie hammer assaulting and raping women under the guise of bdsm

Is there anything that wouldn’t be more interesting with Natasha Lyonne?

Fantastic, another person who doesn't know the definition of African American.

Yeah, you find it implausible, but this is actually based on the true-life romance that began between a modern day president and one of his chief speechwriters.

RIP ODB

I laughed my ass off in many places, and cried a little bit. Everything doesn’t have to be a searing exposé of the Cesspool on the Potomac.