And goddammit, can we please stop rising for “God Bless America” in the seventh? It’s not the national anthem. I’m not getting off my ass twice in one game to fellate the flag again.

This from a man who defended bears in the past.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I get the sense you’re itching to say something that you know to be racist. Don’t.

Plenty of people in this world work so hard that they work themselves to death and still never make more than something in the low five figures. The idea that hard work is rewarded is a lie. All the hard work in the world is not enough to make anyone rich.

Ah yes, “simply.” I like how you think you’re coming off as smart by being so dismissively reductive, when the more informed a person is, the more complex they know anything to be.

Meh, it’s good for sandwiches and quesadilla type stuff. It sucks for pancakes, and I would never try to fry an egg or make bacon on it.

Meh, it’s good for sandwiches and quesadilla type stuff. It sucks for pancakes, and I would never try to fry an egg…

I had one. It sucked rocks through a sieve!

I had one. It sucked rocks through a sieve!

“I’ll cup your balls while you give it to my wife, but you’re damn well gonna keep those boxers on.”

Tobias! Is that you? I’d recognize those blue shorts anywhere!

amazing

I mean, I guess? If you’re looking into swinging, or a threesome with another man, presumably you’re actively seeking that part. As to the latter part of your comment, I didn’t mean they’d think it was gay so much as some men have trouble maintaining an erection in a group scene, especially around a man who might be…

2005 wants its hot take back.

Yeah, they were bigger and very skeletal, more hair, less weird alien clothes. I don’t like these new sith lord White Walkers. The old ones were more, eh, troll-like or whatever and fit more into the landscape. These fellows look like futuristic aliens that’ve landed in Westeros. What the hell?

You forgot to end it with “#AllLivesMatter”

The only unpleasant thing about Amtrak is that it costs more to take the train from Portland to Seattle than it does to fly.

I don’t find driving pleasant at all. In the absence of robust passenger rail, I can’t wait for self-driving cars. There are so many better things I can do with my time than stare at a damn road.

Hey, Darren Wilson got a new job!

This is all just a terrible misunderstanding. He wants everyone to know that he doesn’t discriminate against any of the parasites currently living on him, whether they be rich or po’

But you can certainly still have good enough coffee.