I said what I said and I clarified twice.

I mean...I guess I know what Alyssa meant? But, honey, no.

Context:

This is absolute gold ; ‘but I wish him well in the competition,”. Drops mic and walks away with Olivia Munn.

Who?

I certainly couldn’t do it with every episode, but that outfit stands out for some reason. I don’t know if you know the episode well, but Rachel and Monica do a long bit about eye drops (“Then why did you move?” “Because I knew you were lying!!”) that my best friend and I do spontaneously as performance art.

This is the most romantic thing I’ve ever read. They’re right up there with Gomez and Morticia Addams and Nick and Nora Charles for Relationship Goals.

I am a life long Californian but have spent a good deal of time in NYC and I love it. No, people are not “nice” but it is understood that you leave people alone, respect their space as much as you can even when you’re smooshed against them, and they help when it counts. If someone comes back from New York and says…

Instead of joining Team Kim and Kanye, you should join me on Team No one.

You mean, other than abortion clinic bombings, church shootings, forcing gay kids into conversion therapy that ends in suicides, and countless women forced to carry pregnancies that sometimes end in death to the mother? And before you tell me those aren’t “honor killings,” yes they are. All of these Fundamentalist…

The only folks who say #AllLivesMatter are either racists, stupid, or stupid racists. (#1 and #3 are distinct categories and #1 is depressingly large.)

I’m almost reticent to share because I enjoy it being my little secret, but please if you feel so inspired check out Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn’s Yelp reviews.

Still, saying a Canadian delivered a really good apology is like saying they make the best pasta in Italy or an Australian deals with heat pretty well.

I speak for the human race and the lives of all sentient beings

That is how you issue an apology. None of this "I am sorry if you got offended" bullshit, just straight up "This was wrong, we are upset, please accept our apology and we will remove this guy."

“I’m too old to be nosy.”

Yes.

So is Calvin Harris going to be the new Jennifer Aniston in that there will be ten years of “LOOK HOW SAD HE IS ABOUT TAYLOR WHILE HE BUYS BREAD” pictures in the tabloids??