I had to hide a new mom because every update involved new picture, but a status on her son’s colic. Yes, every poop, fart and burp... I guess I should be grateful that she didn’t post pictures of the diapers themselves, but there was something a little obsessive about the updates that kind of disturbed me.

Melvin, the most mellow of yellow cats is pretty cool with just about everything, be it terrierist puppies, to other cats, to being picked up on a whim. However, he is decidedly not mellow with car rides to our local vet. No matter if we made sure he does his business before, he always takes a massive shit in his…

Why not a fetus sized concealed carry bra... OR a concealed carry onesie, with tear away holster for easy access?

Is it just me or does this sound like a dude who is older than a 16 year old.... I'm probably a little skeptical and risk my small town police swingers, rather than swatters, knocking on my door, but its a convenient time frame is my point.

She looks so awesome... now that is a healthy Mama. You go Mom!

Why the hell not, Disney? I think all the girls were an Elsa or an Anna for Halloween, get them involved in their own surroundings. Its a smart idea. Its not like the white house is suggesting Disney endorse the revitalization of the H bomb or nuclear weapons programs, for god's sake.

Without context, the name Manbook has me thinking its a site for gay men... It sounds like this guy did really lazy naming and copied accordingly, all the while thinking he was a fucking genius. Wouldn't it be ironic if Facebook went after this guy for infringing on their copyright?They've done it before...

I had a republican white guy maintain he had experienced more segregation since he spent 13 years in Africa as a missionary, and he told this, he said, to a black church in Baton Rouge he was replacing windows for. It was all I could do to not say, as a truly embarrassed white person, "Dude, in your 60+ years, your…

You assume 18-23 year olds have that skill, because studies suggest that critical thinking doesn't come until 25... but for guys, I suspect its more like 32. Carry on.

Or the weather channel. No lie they were comparing temperatures between the last time he played at College Station and the temperature in Cleveland a year apart this morning. I could give a donkey shit, what the hell is the temperature in my town?!

I like the idea of it, in theory, but the blue color just pisses me off. don't know why...

Yes... its not pleasant. I don't have balls, to clarify, but I had to have a cut on my hand cauterized to stop the bleeding, and its pretty nasty when your stomach growls with the smell of your cooking blood vessels. Ah, memories.

LGBTQQ? I know the first letters, obviously. But the two Q's have me guessing... I come up with Quest Quilt and Quiet, I'm clueless, can someone help me out here...

I always wonder about gull wing doors and what if you get your seat belt or coat stuck in the door, or you didn't get the door closed correctly. I'm just trying to imagine the movements you would have to make, I mean the door wouldn't fly out of the drivers hand of course, but at the same time, how do you park a car…

Naturally, I assume the recipe for the pumpkin spice latte involves a brave fellow fucking a pumpkin in a sterile, kitchen like environment to achieve the full flavor meld of pumpkin and semen. I hear semen is a low cal sweetener is there any truth to that?

Can we talk about the name Afroduck itself? Where on earth is it from, and who would refer to themselves continually away from the internet, usernames we use on comment boards and youtube accounts? Its not like I go around the town referring to myself as Ekfree. He has a proper name why are we using his self serving…

That looks like the after effects of a night of binging Pumpkin spice lattes, where in the excitement of such a chugging, 8 to 10 candy corn were swallowed whole, all caught conveniently into a martini glass.

There is a small mammal, small intestine-like, roadkill after impact quality to that cheeto's thing...

The only reason I find the giving tree horrifying is because my weird fundamentalist Cousin and her kids did a faithful puppet show for it. Every time the felt tree puppet had to give up something a Rip of velcro was heard... I don't think I would have been nearly as traumatized if there wasn't that helpful sound…

Hey I was actively looking for the tired Lebowski quotes... what other reference were you hoping for?