“That’s their generic excuse,” he said. “I could literally care less.”

Anyone who can drive a first-gen Viper almost 200k miles without totaling it is a hero in my book.

Why do you put 191,000 miles on a car like a Viper?

Pigs need fresh air too.

So hot. He must be bacon.

Welcome to Jalopnik where everything you just said is wrong! Acceptable modifications to your statement include:

At least this person had a backup plan.

The look on Patrick George’s face knowing his Camaro crash has been knocked down a notch on the list of worst GM street car crashes at Belle Isle:

They don’t take that kind of approach in Texas (0:12).

Get out!!!

Additional tidbits:

I will beat you.

Squirrel just wanted the cones to go on a Journey.

Is that really so different from standing at the exit of a Cars & Coffee?

If one were to be tasked with brushing rocks off of the tires before the rollers got up to speed, wouldn’t it be a better idea to do so from the back of the tire as opposed to the front? Not only would the brush[er] not run the risk of getting sucked down underneath the wheel, they’d actually be removing the rocks.…

I mean, they are...

Best HJ ever.

I... Dunno, man. I think I see it more as a tribute of sorts.

Anyone reading this who doesn’t know who Paul Cambria is needs to look him up. He’s like the Saul Goodman of Buffalo, NY.

meese.