Apple walled garden blah blah blah superior blah blah blah Google blah lol blah.

The new mumps are artisanal free-range organic mumps though.

I’ve jerked it at every job I’ve had at least once! On the clock, baby.

If we can put weaponized lasers on AC-130s, we can put weaponized lasers on A-10 Warthogs. Laserpigs are the only reasonable future state of our Air Force.

“Around one in five Americans admit to having peed in a swimming pools at least once.”

I do feel bad.

So did they get the idea before or after watching Pineapple Express?

Officer, that dead hooker was placed in the trunk by a previous owner

Can you give Dr. Shostak his own weekly column, please and thanks?

I didn’t either and I ain’t never gonna!

“It is difficult to comprehend the level of damage Trump has done to global stability in 12 days.”

nope, just one specific part of it.

Haikus can be fun

Drip trays, bruh.

I am literally typing a response.

My garage does have epoxy flooring, but it looks like it was done by an angry 5 year old.

I am both humbled and aroused.

Do you have a sister?

Butterballs would be crazy. Could you imagine getting hit by a turkey at 70MPH?

I hope someone towed the driver that he was doing it wrong.