I go to meetings with mostly Agnostics, Atheists, and Humanists. We use the group as our "higher power" in that, if there's a craving or a problem, we just go to a meeting or talk to another alcoholic/our sponsor/read AA literature. It helps to not go through addiction recovery alone. And the 12 steps also count as a…

Yes. But important life lesson learned. Also, really great story for when you're trying to cheer up a friend who just got dumped. Also I'm happy to say I found my self-esteem and have taken good care of her event since.

Thank you. That explains a lot (of my life choices).

Oh, fuck. I have you all beat. I helped make signs to hold up at an Usher concert. Like 5 mega-sharpie's worth. My ex bf loooooves Usher. And then he tried to get me to hold them up at the concert. I said no.

Let's see:

I have multiple selections of hot music to fuck to in just about every genre. One time I was sleeping with a gal who stopped midway and said "sorry, I can't do this," and proceeded to swap out Bitch's Brew for Josh Groban. And not just Josh Groban - "You Raise Me Up" on repeat.

Attended his made-up Druid Rituals, despite the fact that during all of the praising and genuflecting I couldn't stop thinking about Louis Prima and Keely Smith performing "That Old Black Magic".

-Watched an entire season of basketball even though I loathe televised sports

I took an accelerated summer course on Differential Equations right after barely surviving Calc 2 because a boy I liked wanted me to take it with him. Long story short, he was a TERRIBLE kisser and I had to beg for a D (in the class).

I vote for kick. Only, kick him until he's sterile. :D

I can probably shove a few of those up there before it starts to get uncomfortable, but beauty is pain AMIRITE GUYS?

Also, is "Put it right on your dick" stuck in anyone else's head? It's like "Put a bird on it!" and "Apply directly to the forehead!" had a sexual-assault based love child and it is stuck on a permanent…

I'm thinking of trying to find an appropriate peacocking accessory for my vagina. I don't think that vagazzling will really make me stand out from the crowd of other vaginas in our living room, so maybe steampunk goggles?

Yeah, I see these guys as somewhat malignant, not harmless losers. I'm not interested in playing "kino" back, but weirdly, I want them to go far away and stay there.

i may have fucked this guy at a rave in fresno in 97. i can't be sure.

Do one then the other.

the last time a guy touched me repeatedly after I politely asked him to leave me the fuck alone... okay maybe not politely... I punched him in the throat (not hard enough to hurt him, but hard enough to knock the wind out for a couple seconds). No joke. Followed with a couple jabs to his ribs all while telling him,…

I might try some of these moves on my husband tonight. I might be 5'1" to his 6'4" but I'm gonna put him in my lap and then put his hand right on my vagina. RIGHT. ON. MY. VAGINA.

My cousin was getting hit on hard-core at a bar one night, like, seriously the guy just wouldn't take the hint. So after a while, he looked down at his phone and she said suddenly, "Who are you talking to?" He looked really confused as she continued, "Oh my God, you're talking to another girl? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO…

Hey asshole, notice I said "other pets?" He had 2 dogs and a cat to play with, 4 acres to run around (and chase deer), and he did end up being good friends with another neighbor dog. We took him on walks every day. He lived to be 16 1/2 and was sweet to people and the dogs he knew; we just didn't risk introducing…

Am I the only person who thinks it would be helpful to stop defining racial boundaries in terms of clothing and dance moves and fingernails? Saying "these clothes are for black people," "these dance moves are for black people," "this manicure is for black people" is far more cringe-inducing than a pop star with bad…