Good for Taylor. Her music isn’t my thing, but between this messaging and her political endorsements last year, I like her more.

My uncle owned a single-wide trailer in bumfuck SC, which he rented out to random meth-heads and other assorted fuckups. Well, he evicted one of his shitbag tenants and tasked my then-14-year-old brother with cleaning out the trailer.

I don’t know about you, but I have serious anxiety about getting a fleshlight through a TSA checkpoint, so she stays at home. I can jerk off into a hotel washcloth filled with moisturizer and left on the room heater for five minutes for a couple days just fine.

How can you criticize a guy who is always pulling for his teammates?

I can understand packing a fleshlight to use discreetly on the road, but it takes a psychopathic level of commitment to one’s masturbation habits to travel with a lifesize replica of a headless, limbless woman to fuck right there in front of others.

You got it, dude!

Despite having been asked repeatedly to Cut it Out, he refused, and so the judge is not expected to Have Mercy on him.

I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out.

This is the correct take.

Scoring in a World Cup is personal as much as it is for the benefit of the team. Mallory Pugh scored the eleventh goal, and it was her first ever goal in a World Cup (in her first World Cup game). Alex Morgan tied a USWNT record. It’s always a big deal to score in a World Cup, and these players are allowed to…

It’s like he’s just getting Momento notes

Every one of his tattoos looks like he got paid on Friday, went out drinking that night, then tossed his last two crumpled twenties on the counter of the dirtiest shop in town and asked “What’ll this get me?”

Drake is a monster. Does no one remember that he used to pretend to be handicapped?!

People need to realize that this isn’t about substance, like the fact the guy was bad at business. It’s a culture war. Those people you’re talking about don’t even properly care about their own interests. They just want to see the “other” punished.

Exactly the way it is? What are these people going to do? Sue him for not using 22 million to build a wall he has no authority to build on land he doesn’t own with expertise he doesn’t have and which would cost in excess of 25 billion? I have zero doubt the gofundme had vague details that allow enough wriggle room for…

You could’ve talked to any one of us from NYC and we could’ve told you how fucking clueless this fat piece of shit was when it came to business. I mean forget the bankruptcies, unpaid debts, inability to secure a loan from a US bank since 1995, contractors that were stiffed in NYC & Atlantic City, the story of The…

Legally innocent, but not morally. People can decide for themselves if that matters to them.

This is the OJ/LAPD thing all over again. Yes, OJ murdered his wife, Nicole Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman AND yes, the LAPD were up to shenanigans and were embarrassingly corrupt. The two were not mutually exclusive. Yes, Jussie Smollett faked his own beat-down (probably to raise his profile as an entertainer…

Half, but a) it seemed to come from a place of love, b) it was more nuanced than that. He had a great bit (Jizanthapus) where he basically described - in ever escalating detail - how being protective of your kids makes you think evil thoughts about anyone endangering their comfort, including other children.

You knew he was joking but wasn’t sure he was joking? Just take the L.

If I order a pizza and I’m not very hungry, I ask them to cut it into 4 slices so I don’t have to eat 8.