Get a big piece of cardboard. It’s not hard.

I once did an oil change on my ‘82 Saab 900T while I was dressed in all-white dress clothes, to see if I could do it without getting stained.

LOL!! You HAVE to be a troll!!

They don’t want you in the garage because they don’t want: 1) annoying, know-nothing customers looking over their shoulders and “helping,” and: 2) they don’t want you to see them beating on your car!

IIRC, they say “never.”

Yup. The paint’s cracked.

Because they’re interested in speed, not quality.

Or, like they did with a friend’s Mercedes - after they gave him back his car, he asked how the air filter was. They said, “fine.” He asked them to show him. They couldn’t figure out how to open the air cleaner box.

Yes - it’s expensive - and purple!

But a tomato IS a fruit.....

“Most cars?!?!?!” How can you say that?! Do you mean YOUR car?

Hear this - these trays are often gone by the time I see the cars.....

It’s easy for him because he knows the byzantine procedures to follow.

The police have no place here.....

Doesn’t mean your dad is right.....

Do you think you’re only going to do it once?

You should stop asking helpless questions out into the Internet.....

“...a four-year degree in small engines...?!”

You don’t sound too confident in your abilities. You SHOULD pay someone else to do this exceptionally simple task.

Buy them in bulk someplace cheaper.