“I gotta tell you folks, its a scary time out there for young men”

Remember scumbag assholes, in a murder suicide, do the suicide first.  

Chads man, always fucking up. 

I get what your saying, but have you ever accidentally sat on your own balls? That and the end of Terminator 2. Totally okay. 

By the end of the season you won’t be able to look directly at that image without a shoebox pinhole viewer. 

It’s completely preposterous, but these are people with preposterous amounts of money. It’s like if a normal person could get Bill Murray to come to their wine/cheese/karaoke party for 50 bucks.

I applaud Gruden’s commitment to rebuilding a team that did not appear to need rebuilding. Because it’s fucking hilarious.

Redskins beat Cowboys; An alternate history of the United States. (Mass Market Paperback - October 22, 2018)

No, I get it man, when the best player your franchise has had in 18 years is a kicker that you drafted in the first round, you have to pat yourself on the back.

“Jesus. That’s the 2nd most depressing inspiration for a song ever.” -Eric Clapton

Are you thinking that the Trump crime family set up the shell companies? My first thought was that the shell companies were another way the Russians and Saudis were buying Trump.

It is entirely possible all of this is a blip, that the Jaguars offense will return to being merely mediocre, and that’ll be enough for another deep playoff run.

Jaguars Junction is really the only Jaguars-related Deadspin content I’m interested in...sorry.

What I don’t get is that binary gender options is not even based on biology or science. What about intersex people, I guess they don’t exist either?  

Bobby Boucher is rolling over in his grave.

This is a weird way to tell us you drafted David Johnson first for your fantasy team.

My biggest laugh was the meta joke of the two Charlies hearing how his/their voice sounds for the first time.

It’s his own fault. If he lived in the US, he wouldn’t have had health insurance so he couldn’t have had surgery. Problem solved.

still better than candy corn

Even Michael J Fox thinks that’s a little too much.