The policy is “No weapons.” The “...unless you’re a paranoid, trigger-tempered adolescent,” part is implied. In the greater Gainesville metropolitan area, it’s colloquially referred to as “The Hernandez Codicil.”

It’s always nice to see a new coach who acknowledges his program’s traditions. 

Wouldn’t be the first time he told Vanessa one thing while doing another

Once they partner with Pets.com, you’ll be able to buy movie tickets for your dog, too! Now that’s service.

It's always bullshit when a coach with complete hegemony over a program says they don't know ANYTHING about a situation that relates to a player/staffer.

Can we scrap the new Nicki Minaj album in favor of a new Tracy Chapman album?

I think you meant to say “liberals will most certainly feel saddened by this due to their ability to empathize.”

Damn this is a really sad story. Their little blog even had maps of the routes they took. Seemed like very nice people just trying to enjoy their own life, without hurting others. Per usual, we see all the one-liners from the anonymous void, mocking the situation. What’s so funny about this? Guess I’m just not cool…

Make

Caught it at the 10? A slow, lumbering guy like that? Gotta let that bounce in the endzone and pick up the extra yardage. The Belichick I know would have them running gassers for such a blatant mental screwup. 

I am an atheistic cynic and I love those Lambos to death, Cardi B. That green one is the stuff of my wildest dreams.

I think it’s adorable that you don’t see how this is a classic false flag (false fan?) operation. This is an “Astros” “fan”, but he’s in Colorado. Who is seated to his left? Colorado fans. To his right? Colorado fans. And lo and behold, who’s that directly in front of him? Crisis actor Gerardo Parra. Parra obviously…

“Judge Aquilina’s Dr. Nassar’s efforts to demonize Dr. Nassar in front of the entire world were successful.”

This is eternal punishment for Seahawks fans. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Finally, the trade war with China has helped an American worker.

I mean, they are cancer kids. Would that be so bad? 

The good news is that Sarah’s now qualified for so many other jobs that require a straight face, like...

Tebow: “Then the Lord God made a woman from the-”

She also accused those named as having “in some cases monetized their public service” (unlike, say, the president, whose Washington DC hotel has been doing just gangbusters lately, thanks for asking).

The whole “Pence is worst” line is useless and a distraction. And he is certainly not more insane. He has shitty views to say the least, but keeping Trump there under the false narrative that Pence would be in any worse is, at this point, a pretty dumb thing to say.