Never tweet.

They're all Christians and don't believe in premarital sex, so what's the big deal? Go to Bible studies and take cold showers.

As a person on diet, I have real reason! If it is someone’s birthday it is rude not to eat the cake, but being across the country is not going to stop me from getting my birthday cheat cake, so I have to take matters in to my own hands and make the dang cake!  Better yet, since there is no party to go with said cake,…

Write tickets. 

The salsa is fine. It's the (sour) cream that is offering the boost.

I heard Dana White goes down to Home Depot and pays the migrant workers to go to his house and choke him while he masturbates in the shower. 

It’s time for a new generation to learn to hate Joe Lieberman.

Why are they so quick to defend owners over players? Doesn’t seem that complicated to me, it’s really a black-and-white situation.

It would take more than words to describe just how extreme the DUI was 

It’s gonna be real sad when he’s out of football for a few years and he forgets why the rocks are on his porch. 

There’s always the inevitable obituary to look forward to.

Hulu has so many of the 2000s-era binge-watching hits that Netflix used to have (LOST, Battlestar Galactica, Friday Night Lights, Futurama). Netflix has made some good shows, to be sure, but I think dropping all those shows was a big mistake. Like Sam says, people often go for something familiar.

There’s no hope for someone as good as Bell - instead, tragically, he’ll have to content himself with the $26.2M he’s making over last season and this season combined, plus however many tens of millions he gets next offseason.

Seriously though, I’m sure he feels this is unfair, but your average RB isn’t going to make…

Imagine for a moment, that you are a female civil rights activist in Putin’s Russia. Now, you know that no matter what you do, if you actually succeed in your goal of drawing attention to the horrendous state of human rights in your country, you are going to go to jail. And you will be abused. And you may never get…

C’mon man.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss, other times it's just...ignorant

Sounds like you have pretty terrible taste in music

I remember the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion as being loud.  BLUES EXPLOSION!!

Grayson Allen: Utah Jazz draft pick