Word of caution to all of you new parents out there: it's exhausting having a newborn in the house, and you have zero privacy piled onto your sleep deprivation.

Ya know, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was a burgeoning tech reporter, less than two months into a new gig, and I had already gone ahead and crumpled up my journalistic integrity into a wadded up ball and allowed Apple to ram it up my ass-hole with their cocks.

Unlike the latest iPad — but much like the old Nexus 7 — the new tablet feels heavier than it looks, and a teensy bit hollow too. Though it's actually one single gram lighter than the new iPad Air 2, which is crossing the threshold of being usable with one hand, the Nexus 9 is smaller and stouter. It's definitely a…