Whitefish AND lox. Local bagel place special. Also has tomato, cucumber and red onion on it.

Are you going to finish that guinea pig?

You mean because we didn’t completely level the city when the Patriots won the Superbowl? Yeah, we’ve gotten a little blase about titles in the last 15 years.

We’re coming home along the Thruway and decide to stop at McD’s. There’s a woman and smallish kid in front of us getting huffy and I can tell this won’t end well. And in due time she starts yelling at the cashier, “Why is everything more expensive here? This is ridiculous! You’re ripping people off!” and so on, as the…

How to tell you're old: You know who Taylor Dane is immediately but have no idea who Tig Notaro is.

I think you forgot to look at the whole Dolphins team. Once Marino blew the passing record away for 5000 yards the organization basically said it’s fuck it 30 and stopped getting any supporting players. This is exactly why his stats dwindled after 84... the rest of the team dwindled away. Marino never got a consistent…

This is probably dumb, but I’ll bite.

The Dolphins replaced their happy Dolphin jumping through a hoop logo with one floundering while gasping for its last breath, which has to be the most on-brand logo change in history.

(And, to be sure, there’s an inherent racism in that dilemma: Few bat an eye at violent lyrics or misogyny in classic rock, chalking it up to poetic license and creative expression. It’s only when blacks are engaging in provocative lyrics that we clutch our pearls.)

Many years ago at the group home for developmentally disabled teens where I worked there was a resident who really, really wanted to go to the best steak house in the city for his 18th birthday. He had behavior and anger issues, but was determined to earn that birthday dinner, and he managed it. So another staff…

I think it’s mostly that people either A. Understand that this has nothing to do with actual cheating, and 100% to do with Brady not submitting fully to investigation, or B. Hate Brady and are “sure” that he’s a cheater who deserves whatever comes to him regardless of how the league decides his punishment or how it…

“It also does something funny to the process, codifying judgements into legal framework, thereby creating a burden of evidence that requires something like statistical proof beyond the overwhelming circumstantial bits that show Brady is, very obviously, guilty as shit.”

Uh, no, it does nothing of the sort, and this is…

What we’re looking at, in the absence of red-handed guilt, is the NFL, its investigatory arm, and that arm’s hired experts railroading an investigation with shoddy, biased works of bad science, and then holding up their homework to Roger Goodell, who sticks a gold star on it and calls it “highly credible.”

That pool cover conversation is all the evidence needed to see that TB12 has a history with deflated balls...

I’ve read the appeal cover to cover. Brady is of course a slick, dynamic protagonist, who’s resourceful and practical in a pinch, but I can’t help but think that he’s a little shallow. I mean, when I broke up with my girlfriend Sally this summer I didn’t throw my phone away or anything, I just deleted her contact.

the notion that women are the primary victims of gun homicide is the exact opposite of what’s true:

A thousand times yes. Domestic violence plus guns equals a literal war on women.

Or you just read the back of the shampoo/bodywash/conditioner bottle

Books.

maybe she stays indoors all the time. :-)