You are going to come out on the other side with a baby. I fought like hell to get rid of my ex. He is still her Dad but he can’t hurt me anymore.

Stress brings out a person’s true nature. It sounds like you’re seeing his. I am sorry to say it, but I urge you to get out while you can, you and your child relatively unscathed. It gets much, much worse. ❤

Armchair psychologist time: without any other info other than what you’ve shared on this thread, and barring anything secret going on in his life you don’t know about, I think he’s scared. You say it’s your first kid, this all came about talking about money, I think he probably has that typical patriarchal pressure on…

You guys don’t sound like partners. you sound like adversaries, and it seems like it’s mostly coming from him.

I know soooo many couples who did therapy while one or both persons were in grad school. Even if they weren’t having problems, grad school is hard on relationships so a bunch did therapy just to keep communication open.

Girl - no, no marriage therapists. Get your OWN therapist, sit down with copies of “Why Does He Do That ?” and “Should I Stay or should I Go ?” both by Lundy Bancroft. Read them both, TWICE. Don’t let him see that you are reading them.

Well, I hope it helps! You are the Mom now. When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy....

My dad is like this to my mom, and has been for over 20 years. Please get out or get to couples counseling. I know this is the last thing that you need on your plate, but I’ve watched this dynamic and it’s not pretty. Take care of yourself.

In the wise words of ranjit from how I met your mother, it’s your turn to be crazy, then your baby’s turn to be crazy, your husband cannot be crazy again.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You guys should consider couples’ therapy if it’s an option. This is clearly about something other than what’s on the surface and he is not communicating to you about what it is.

Just want to second seatonsatin’s comment. This isn’t an argument. And you’re right, this is emotional abuse.

I am tired of being made to feel like I’m lazy and pointless

My ex-husband totally turned on me when I was pregnant. He was furious that it altered my ability to get things done. He treated me really badly and I never forgave him and when our daughter was 3 I filed for divorce. It’s a major red flag when a man makes a pregnancy into a weakness to exploit. I’m so sorry you are…

Definitely. You could also just let him know you want to check in with him because you know you guys are under a lot of stress and you feel like there’s been more arguing than usual. Maybe then he’ll feel more comfortable opening up

I really hate those arguments that just go around and around. Men are so abstruse. Later on, after the baby is born or whatever, he’ll tell you what was actually bothering him, give a half-hearted apology, and expect to be off the hook. Grrrr. My suggestion, that I followed with some success after it was offered…

It’s weird to say that I hope your husband is also unhappy, but it definitely helped that we both recognized there was a problem and wanted to solve it. Therapy helped us sort out some of our underlying issues, but more importantly, it gave us tactics for how to fight better when we do argue. We are more aware and…

That’s an awful lot to deal with. You have every right to be upset.

Can you bring this pattern up when you guys aren’t actually fighting about it? Maybe he’s feeling pressure to hold everything together and instead of communicating that like he should, he’s asking you to take on more and deflecting. You might have to baby him through this issue of you want to get to a point where he…

I highly recommend couple’s therapy. My husband and I had the same issue a couple of years ago where every fight seemed to come back to the same couple of issues. Therapy helped us a lot because it gave us a safe space to talk about what we were really feeling.

The thing is, it doesn’t sound like an argument. An argument is where two parties have a conflict, and one is pushing for resolution, compromise, etc. and the other is pushing back for a different solution. A fair argument is where both parties are equal, there’s no blaming, and both parties work for a solution that…