I am very upset with myself that I ignored that advice. :(((((((

Ahhhhh the flashbacks!! When I was studying abroad in Costa Rica, we were getting a tour of a palm oil plantation. Our tour guide was new and accidentally walked a few of us through an area with ground nesting hornets. Which happen to be twice the size of our cute little yellow jackets here in the States. I have never…

Australia is not too big on cats. But I don’t care as I’m coming, too, and I’m bringing mine!

What? Did they have a lunch time club where they compared profiles or something?

Anna,

Intended to mean that her angry little face was so severely duck faced, that sucking a lemon, which would inflict this face on any kindly face, would make her face less severe. Lady had active bitch face, basically.

That every story about a customer being an asshole or a food industry worker getting unjustly screwed will have SOMEONE come out of the woodwork to defend the douchenozzle that perpetrated the situation. Every. Damn. Time. #PinkhamsLaw

I started watching Think Like A Man once because I was too lazy to change the channel when it came on TV. I turned it off after 15 minutes wondering what self respecting woman would stoop so low to even act in that misogynistic piece of crap.

Ugh. This. I had a super busybody Maid of Honor send a message out to all my bridesmaids the week before my wedding telling them to go tanning or buy some fake tanning lotion to make sure they didn’t have any tan lines that would clash with their dresses. She also suggested looking into tattoo covering make up. All…

“What’s wrong with slavery?” he countered.

This is probably really strange to say, but something about his smile (teeth) has always weirded me out. It’s because they’re fake and too perfect. Got it.

Moar recipe links!!!

How was that not bigger news? Thanks for bringing that up and making me look into it. Thank goodness that farce is over.

If I had the opportunity to safely rescue either Huckabee or a cockroach from a burning building, I’d let them both burn. But Huckabee probably wouldn’t allow me to make that choice, as I am but a woman and making any decision would clearly destroy my weak constitution with guilt later in life. Fuck him.

The struggle is real. God speed.

This. Also, sharing a hotel room with other people (see: the incessant wedding season that is your late 20s) when traveling with my significant other.

A week before my cousin’s wedding, her husband to be decided he wanted to get a hot dog vendor guy like you see at ball parks to come and “throw hot dogs at people” out of one of those strap on hot dog boxes as a late night snack. Such a bummer the guy refused to drive over from Milwaukee...

My pleasure. I’d like to add that all these clothes were bought for me in Pakistan and never tailored, so if the fit seems off, that would be why. All the say I got in the process was picking the color purple for one of the dresses. The rest of the credit goes to my mother in law.

Marry an Indian or Pakistani with a mother who insists on a traditional wedding. That’s what my transparent-white self did!

Damn. I went to two stores and bought one at the second because it was nearly exactly the wedding dress I had drawn in a high school chemistry notebook over a decade before. And I was too stressed out by grad school to think I had any time to shop longer. 13 months before my wedding. I rushed my own self into a so-so…