For my first non-kiddie bike, I picked one that was Dr. Pepper red and the sales guy was genuinely surprised with my decision. I distinctly remember him saying “Are you sure you like this one? It’s a boy’s color. I thought you would’ve wanted something pink or purple.” He received so much 13 year old side eye for that…

We had this exact conversation approximately 6 times throughout the wedding planning process. Good luck.

Yeah, the point here is that these waiting periods are not logical. They are a pure road block, plain and simple.

Oh this reminded me of another story! The night now husband and I started dating, I was originally out with a few girlfriends and was planning on meeting up with another guy. Well other guy shows up, we dance, we flirt, we even kiss, while now husband watches (we weren’t on speaking terms at the time - it was a…

Not a horror story so much as a hugely awkward coincidence. My now husband proposed while we were visiting my parents for Christmas. The next day (Sunday before Christmas) we went to my church so I could see all my old friends there and, well, go to church. We sit down and are waiting for the service to start when who…

Welcome to the club that everyone hates being in. If no one has told you yet, go check out www.brightpink.org.

Getting genetic testing done and having a BRCA1 mutation to throw around gets the doctors to listen to me pretty quick. Good luck to your sister and internet love to you both!

Just like a sadistic, long form Remembral!

Spreadsheets for budgets, spreadsheets for expenses, spreadsheets for vendor contact info, spreadsheets for vendor payment schedules, spreadsheets for wedding party contact info, spreadsheets for guest addresses, spreadsheets for RSVP tracking, spreadsheet for gift and thank you card tracking, spreadsheets for general…

I actually took the time to fill out the Knot’s post-wedding budget survey. It took me nearly an hour and was absolutely horrendous. Just reading this post (because like hell I’ll waste a second of my life reading that actual questionnaire) makes me nauseous and frustrated with the way the world exists.

I had an internship in the aquarium of a zoo a few years back that was trying to wean a rescued orphan baby dolphin off formula and on to solid fish. The dolphin was 9 months old and all he would do was stick his dick out and try to hump any trainer that got in the water with him to try to feed him. Took a bit of the…

Toss some halved sprouts in olive oil, salt, and red pepper flakes. Roast until they’re brown on top then throw them in a bowl with bacon bits, roasted pine nuts, and shaved parm... perfection. Probably going to go make that tonight.

Pathetic and sooooooo many red flags. Good on that girl for calling a cab.

So cute! I’m the whitest person I know and my husband is also Pakistani. I’ve been wondering what color our kids might be someday...

I don’t know what pixie pants are...but..I... want some?

Ugh. I had to vote yea because I had a bouquet toss. I never took the time to reflect on how awful the whole thing was and how I didn’t *need* to do it until I found this blog months after my wedding. If I were to do it all over again, you’d better believe I’d strike that off the program. Along with the utterly…

It’s like karma is just dangling a beautiful, golden prize right in our faces only to reveal that it’s made of wood and yes, everything is bullshit.

Approximately 1/2 gallon of water per plate. And that’s just for the manufacturing. That does not take into account the water used to make the chainsaws that cut down the trees, or the water used to make the trucks/trains/etc. to transport the wood to the paper mill and from the mill to the store, and from your…

I had 6 and my husband had 7. Of all the wedding crap I was stressed about, I really did not care about this lack of symmetry. He, on the other hand, was really bugged by this, but could not care less about, say, what our guests ate for dinner.

I did find the opportunity to tell this story twice over the weekend. I support this ranking.