I have two stories for this one.

Chicagoan here as well. I made it to work 2.5 hours ago and have yet to take off my -30 degree rated boots because I have yet to regain feeling in my toes. Right now, I am experiencing that slow creeping dread that accompanies the memory that I did not leave my taps dripping today...

Very wise. One of the perks of getting married early in the wedding season meant I didn't have to get sucked into this madness at the 8 other weddings I was forced to attend last year. It was glorious.

Chris Bosh's then-fiancee left me a 40% tip once at a seafood place in Indianapolis. Granted, she did sit there for three hours between the lunch and dinner rushes and her bill was only like $38 or something, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

Brilliant, yes. But maybe make them exclude the names of the classmates they targeted in the posts. Or substitute their own in! That could be fun...

I saw that too! One contestant, while trying to substitute gummy bears for goose fat in her iteration of matzo ball soup (wtf?), was attempting to cut the said gummy bears using a knife still in a sheath. When she was instructed to remove the sheath, she then attempted to resume cutting with the wrong side of the…

Pinkham, I truly hope you received at least ONE monogrammed coffee thermos for Christmas. If not, I'll hook you up.

Your estimate is highly accurate

Seriously. What in the name of crooked Cook County is Hawaiian Salad? Now, thanks to this article, there's going to be one more Google search from Illinois looking this atrocity up. Great.

Yellow cake is like the confectionery epitome of "MEH"

Oh, I completely agree. It was a delicious dish. It just didn't sell well. Branding, you know.

Definitely was part of the Chilean Sea Toothfish era. Very thankful to have missed sizzling Coho Salmon (as I look down at the burn scar on my wrist that is now 3 years old)

Former M&S server here as well! Pinkham, ever have to push Monkfish during your stint? Our head chef gave us tons of lines to throw in our minutes-long intro speeches. They didn't work on our seafood-illiterate Midwestern clientele. I wanted to rename it Peyton Manning Flaky Fish to see if it would sell better.

Indeed. Apparently Chicago has a whole gourmet donut subculture. I'll do some delicious research and get back to you on that one.

And let's not forget the 20 place settings of sterling silver flatware for $1,400 a pop. In addition to all the every day flatware, of course.

This statement is contradictory.

I'll admit it. I made the chicken too and I may have used the Ina Garten recipe. It was fricking delicious. My now-husband proposed within 3 months (the exact time table is hazy). Full Disclosure: We had already gone ring shopping together 2 months prior, so the chicken was likely not a factor in the slightest. But…

At my husband's best man's wedding, the ancient Catholic priest that should have retired 10 years ago literally forgot about the wedding ceremony, despite the 90 minute rehearsal the day before. Fortunately, he lived right next door, so the father of the bride was able to go knock on his door and ask him to get…