But we currently live in the Freakshow Cinematic Universe, and Tom Brady is about as normal as a second dick growing out of your forehead

So the Union workers then...

I’ve had two concussions playing football, and would gladly take another instead of a busted nut.  

Thomas lead with his forearm.  

The cart needed a cart. 

Frank Perdue is a terrible ref. 

Stillers deserve a good fisting.

Those cacti, planted by Jesus himself 4,000 years ago when the world was new, were an effective border wall until the deer population exploded and ate the tasty baby cactus buds.  Those deer must be stopped !

Title IX, bitches!

Guess that’s why they call it football.  

He definitely had PTSD.  Had to play with Incognito and for the Dolphins.  

I think Dabo studied the NFL tape of Spurrier and knows exactly what to do. He’s probably sick of coeds, national championships, and off-the-books perks anyway. 

Have heard there is more room in the C8 than the C7 for the Tall & Fat. 

I’m sure it was a very special college.  

As he lazily sips a pina colada floating around a Burfict pool

Ryan Leaf agrees

Um, I believe the proper term is Airplane Flight Attendants 

Ravens have invested heavily in an expanded analytics department, and the stat nerds say going for it consistently on 4th down is worth .5 wins over the course of a season, and The Ravens converted 3 of 4 on the day. The NFL average for 2 point conversion success is 60%, which equates to 1.2 points per attempt vs. .95…

So, can he still stay at Tom’s house then?  As an aside, Tom’s blouses keep sticking to his back...

Seeing as you are in Philly, and noted having concerns about your hands being to small to reach steering wheel controls, may I recommend a consult with Jack Kelly, esq.?