CALEB JOSEPH: Ball one!

“Yeah, but then he got to sit down, maybe grab a little 3rd dinner, and chill for the rest of the game. And he didn’t have to run anymore. Who’s laughing now?”

“Injury report: We can’t say who, but a member of the Bills’ coaching staff just put his foot in his mouth. ”

I’m a Jets fan. I’m already there.

Go to hell.

I was watching this weekend’s NYCFC vs RBNY game, thought Pirlo was doing a Valderrama tribute, but without any of the needle threading passes.

I think, when he hit that dinger a few weeks ago, he should have taken the bat with him, walked around the bases, and when he crossed the plate, slam the bat down, take a bow, walk off the field and clean out his locker for good.

When asked about it in the clubhouse after the game, he just laughed it off.

This is cool, but I can’t wait for the day a home plate umpire gets fed up and caves-in Murphy’s face like a fire extinguisher in a French sex club.

Not as convincing as when he deked Mets fans into thinking he was going to catch that ground ball in Game 4.

“I used to lay in my twin bed at night and wonder where my brother was.” - Mitch Hedberg

Yeah, and you bet on them. I’ll cheer louder for mites on ice with five bucks on the line than I will for an NHL game.

The French Laundry? Kawakami got taken to the cleaners.

See America. This is what a smug, profane, egomaniac in Washington, DC looks like.

That wouldn’t help, they would find this shit hilarious

Joke’s on you, Tom. This was quite obviously an actual tryout for the Nets.

Chin up, St. Louis. At least your football team will go undefeated this season.

Imagine the shit-eating grin Goodell had on his face when he made that statement. Just imagine it.

Before you automatically assume that Nicola’s full of shit, just know that this is much more common among athletes than you might imagine. For instance, Wes Welker has no idea how old he is. Or where he is. Or how he got there.

Not surprising. Normally Padres and Cardinals only agree nothing was seen when one of them actually touches someone.