I just skim profiles for the words "I know how to treat a lady." Instant red flag.

Oh good god, at the same time? Stay strong, my friend.

Our head of human resources brought at elf to work this week and kept moving him around.

That has to be a gift from Ian, right?

Yeah, there were a lot of angry phone calls behind his back.

Right before Thanksgiving, my Tea Party uncle sent all his liberal siblings an email warning them not to talk politics because "I have a temper" and "I don't want to hear about the Liar-in-Chief or any Democrat street theater". We all had zingers prepared in case he broke the ceasefire, but all went well.

I look forward to this column so much each week.

Second embarassing sex story in as many days. By 24, I was sick of being a (PIV) virgin. I was mostly going on dates with guys from online dating sites. Met a cute one, and by the third date, I wasn't even listening to the conversation, just thinking, "I'm going to sleep with him tonight. I'm going to sleep with him…

I had my first kiss at 17, followed closely by several marathon make-out sections in the back of my car. Both of our pants stayed on, but soon afterwards, I went on a study abroad trip and fell ill. I missed my next period, and I spent six weeks in a forgien country terrified that by some freak accident (semen can…

Yup. That was me driving to work this morning listening to the BBC.

That's just the GIF I was looking for.

Sadly, that took me a moment.

Oh, do keep me updated on how that goes! You're setting yourself up for some truly bizarre dreams, and I can't wait to hear about them. If your brain breaks, I will say I told you so.

A warning, you will not be able to watch all six hours in one sitting. The most my bf and I could do at once was two in a row. They're all excellent, but disturbing.

Yup. I have a couple black aquantances and coworkers, but none I would call a friend. It's sad, but I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say I have black friends when I don't. I also live in one of the most segregated cities in America (Milwaukee). I'm also kind of a hermit, so I'd have a hard time coming up with seven…

"Our religion (Islam) has defined a position for women (in society): motherhood,"

I left middle school decades ago but I am seriously considering buying this magazine to do just that.

Nooo! Don't besmirch the perfectness of Chris Pratt by associating him with the dreck that is People Magazine.

Yeaaaahhh. I know a lot of people with theology degrees (me being one of them) and ordained ministers whose heads would probably explode if forced to watch this theologically dubious dreck. Okay, some of them are Unitarians, but some of them are bonified capital-C Christians. All of whom have a grasp on reality.

For the first time in over a decade I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Last year my Tea Party uncle began attending, but only after sending and email telling his liberal siblings not to talk about "the liar-in-chief" or politics in general because it would make him mad. We complied, and things were fine. But…