My crazy mother tried to do this at my brother's wedding. My sister-in-law heard about her choice of attire on the morning of the wedding and freaked out, sent my brother to find my mother before the ceremony to ask her to please NOT DO THAT. The bride had also requested on the invites that guests wear fall colors so…

I wouldn't bet on it.

My father-in-law referenced 9/11 during his toast.

Cafe Press would sell it to you!

No idea. But he did. And she was epic. Some of the groomsmen thought she may have been a hire.

Missed the chance to comment on the original post, but I was someone's Marvin once. To this day (9ish years later), I still feel horrible. I was working at a Target photo lab and this guy came in with two rolls of film. Says they are the only pictures he has for his wedding that just took place in Ireland. Suddenly,…

Happy anniversary!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITCHENETTE! YOU GET ALL THE SAVED BREAD!!!

Happy anniversary, to the one who knows food reviews are always better with more whine.

Steak frites, all the way. Maybe I am an uncultured ox, but give me a really good piece of steak and some perfect fries, and I am happy in a way that whatever that twee nightmare above could never make me.

My 27 year old hipster brother mentioned to me that he needed more work clothes. When I told him Costco has very nice khakis for cheap, he looked at me as if I had suggested he buy a powdered wig.

Man, it's already happening. My husband likes to look dapper so he usually has at least a blazer on. He dressed up nicely for his review at work. His supervisor, who's in his 40s, wore SWEATPANTS.

Wow. This is amazing and disturbing in equal parts. As my husband's "roommate" as his family likes to call me, I would almost prefer the unspoken discomfort of my situation to feeling Regina Georged by my own mom!

Uh, where is Dad's hand??? That is some Folgers-level nonsense going on there.

Always trust a man who matches his shirts with his upholstery. A man with that kind of commitment to a color scheme will never steer you wrong.

I wore an ivory dress because a white dress made me look downright consumptive. Ivory dress: WHORE STATUS CONFIRMED

also, white was never really an indication of purity, I thought. What was to show off how rich you were, that you could afford a dress that you could literally never wear again, because trying to actually do anything in it would ruin it.

My mother. Who took the opportunity during her toast to give my bride my bronzed baby shoes, saying "This is all I have left to give to you of my Gregory. The rest you've already taken for yourself"

Woody Allen definitely, Roman Polanski maybe, Bill Cosby almost definitely not.

"I mean, if it makes you happy to detonate a suicide bomb in a public market, then you do you, gurlfriend!"