I’d be willing to settle for someone other than me being there.

Prezdint Pussy Grabber so offended by bad language. He needs to move out of the Oval Office...like a bitch.

I’m going to leverage your thought leadership when we ideate our next ecosystem disruption. I think a deep dive initiative will help unpack the core competencies needed to move the needle on our deliverables. Hopefully, it will incentivize engagement among key players. I’m out of pocket right now, so I can’t drill…

Here’s my guide:

Pretty substantial load of horseshit you got there bud.

THIS:

he screams at her until she cries. she doesn't owe him shit.

He seems like a likeable enough guy but those Jeep commercials are very disturbing.

Paris Hilton rode a unicorn at Burning Man. [The Blast]

I think that specific pink pom-pom/crystal headband thing is defo a rip off of the video. But the actual model doesn’t look that much like Ariana.

So am a very picky eater and I knew it wouldn’t be good for my health, so from the age of 12 I started taking multi-vitamins on my own.

For those who don’t understand, being picky is not a choice and I wish I wasn’t.  Food in general causes me much anxiety.

If the rumors are true, pretty sure Bradley Cooper has always had a beard rather than a mustache...

Fallon's career. 

If this story were about a male star, he’d have been portrayed as Father of the Year and a hero. The tone of the article would have been 100% different. People and magazines like it are so sexist which is wild to me since I would assume women are 95-100% of its readership. 

Ugh.  “Kelly Clarkson successfully negotiated a schedule to allow her an appropriate work-life balance.”  There I fixed it. 

If there was a young man in literally any other profession who made $100 million before he was 30 and decided to retire, he would be lauded. The Wall Street Journal would write thousands of words of wankery praising his acumen and smarts and god bless America.

Brian Austin Green revealed he “wasn’t initially interested in Megan Fox.”

I’m always amazed and horrified when a fellow white person claims that some word or other is “like the n-word”. Sorry, but there’s no term that that has been used interchangeably with “property” the way that the n-word has. There’s shitty words, for sure, but you do not need to “explain” that they are shitty by…

I always think it’s Brandon Lee...Bruce Lee’s son.