Fun Fact: By company policy Jay Mariotti and Marsellus Wallace would be forced to use different bathrooms at Big Kahuna Burger.

@Tulos: Imagine if you made that comment and it was a golden retriever. Mind = blown?

Mariotti better hope the judge has read his work and heard his opinions so he can plead insanity.

+1

Update: Students from Mississippi State have poisoned the telephone pole.

That's excellent. Thanks for sharing.

I saw a mule in Tijuana. And drugs. Does this make me a frontrunner?

Quick! Tell Tommy that fucking snake is back!

Can I submit some of my better comments within the email? Don't worry, it'll be brief.

That toilet is actually the aftermath of Gabourey Sidibe purging a Taco Bell dinner.

Not mentioned in the headline? Clint Howard bobblehead night comes with a free serving of bad icecream.

+1

Ironically, Tom Cruise is the only party involved in receiving the award that doesn't smell fishy.

Val's gotten so big he can't even Swatch his old action scenes.

This went remarkably better than his first 200 feet flying attempt when he crashed into Maria Shriver's jawline.

Pictured: The man's attire is so ridiculous it causes fans behind him to lose their minds.

+1

You could have probably got some sweet pillow fort advice before you chased the kids away. So I'll recommend a 12-gauge and shells.

Ha, can not wait.

He's too dreamy to even get snarky about.