Symbolism for Dan Snyder has a gaping trunk? You decide!

This cracked me up, +1

Similarly, well sort of, John Chaney harped to his Owls that showing heart meant going up to the opposition and giving them a smack.

Impressive, until you realize Rush Limbaugh has a colonic during every show for three hours.

Little known fact: when Kobe scowls he is actually saying "chowdERRRRRR"

In a true rivalry moment, Ole Miss released a statement saying their cheerleaders only have people read Playboy articles to them.

That's nothing. Once I had everyone in my community sign a petition so the tourettes center could be called The Bissinger ShitheadPissantDoucheJuiceFuck... Building.

Bails Bails Bails and Boss Bail Bonds

Knight would be even worse. He mentored Coach K at Army.

I would actually prefer listening to Vitale instead of Tim Brando. His SEC slobbering in the fall makes him unbearable. You know what? I think I'm going to punch my tv and hit him right in the mouth.

This remains bush league compared to Bobby Brown using the same moniker, giving Whitney Houston the first ever life-threatening papercuts.

Like you've never tailgated a funeral before...

"EXPOSURE FOR THE CHURCH"

I don't care about being in it. Just so long as if anyone is sacrificed, it's UweBollocks. Also you may want to enlist Hickey in your army. His rage should come in handy.

Yesterday I woke up, looked at it, got confused and didn't see any comments to approve. I began stocking up on bottled water and canned goods, fully prepared to outlive you as the last commenter ever.

Snyder always goes last in Jenga, but stares down one piece the whole time. He's never made it past one round.

While we won't agree on every point, I'm glad that you're smart enough to recognize that a key part is amassing page views. The internet plays by a different set of rules than newspapers did during their dominant time, so it's a crapshoot. No point in arguing what's "news" when really all it comes down to is editorial…

Tell that to the little kids who wear his jerseys, have his posters and play as him in video games.

Mark: You got any full-flavor Marlboro Menthols?

A 24-year-old millionaire, who is also a public figure, hanging out with a high school girl isn't newsworthy? Pretty sure that's a story. If a local, young up and coming politician was seen out with a girl who hasn't even graduated from high school yet it'd be all over the papers.