MLS will never be world class until its players are blackmailing each other.

You might think this would be a big deal for the NFL, but I just asked my friends and 90% of them wouldn’t care if their medical records were stolen so it’s probably ok.

It’s the Baptist way: If there’s a chance all participants are enjoying the sex, then you’re doing it wrong.

“I did not have sexual relations with that girl”
“I should spend tens of millions of dollars investigating this and try to get this man impeached!”
-Ken Starr 1997

“Did I rape her? I mean...”
“Good enough for me!”
-Ken Starr 2016

“Look, our tower’s got height, okay? We’ve got the best height.”

Bad take.

I very much enjoy this.

I look forward to this bear’s fight with the Red Baron

I didn't understand the entire article, but I think I got the drift.

People like you are the reason we care

“I wasn’t sure after the 15th, 20th, and 23rd games.... But after the 24th game, I had to put my foot down and ask the tough questions that have been building up all season.”

Did you think 23 would be the cut off?

Are you suggesting the Cardinals do not care about winning? How dare you.

Apologize for your shitty take

Well, I care.

We will never regret accurately reporting sports news.

I’m really surprised that Baylor repackaged and summarized the investigation and released its summary. Except for leaving out specifics, it almost reads like a testifying expert’s report confirming Baylor’s liability for Title IX causes of action brought by the victims. And now it’s in a public document on Baylor’s…

Diana gets a gold star. Well done.

Milk gives me allergic asthma - that’s why I’m not racing in the Indy 500 (plus maybe one or two other minor reasons).

In another ironic twist, there are at least five errors in the email. There’s always a bigger pedant on the internet, smart guy.