Trump simply doesn't understand why anybody would need the bathroom. His body is so perfectly calibrated that it uses the only thing he consumes - the blood of 15, white, newborn kittens once a month - without any excess waste.

This showed up last week in the comments about some DiCaprio movie, but deserves mention here:

When are you going to report on how Cytherea was gang-raped by three men in her house in front of her children?

She looks so much happier/better in the Paper photo. This new one looks like Kanye pushed her in the dirt and took a pic of her trying to get up.

I don't like to talk about this, but here goes... Some years back, I'm doing the dirty with my brother, Jaime. We're in this northern shithole called Winterfell. And then it happens: the Stark boy, Ned's son, storms in on us. AWKWARD! So obvi I had my brother throw him to his doom to protect our secret. But the silly…

Because for some reason or other, I've become newly infatuated with referring to myself as a variety of [adjective]-virgin phrases...