Mr. Safety and I text each other at the beginning of our workouts to signal DND time. That way we know the other is not dead in a ditch when they don’t reply :)

Quitting facebook altogether is also effective

Wait...if you can’t think of any assholes in your life, does that mean YOU’RE the asshole?

Should not have laughed, but did.

Dude - never, ever turn away and put your camera down when a flying car is taking off.....

There’s no explanation on YouTube or Reddit about what exactly caused the incident

Am I the only one here who doesn’t give a flying fuck about flying cars? I mean I am not against looking forward to the next big technological progress but this seems like a futile exercise.

Lift your head up from your phone and communicate using this primitive method called “speaking”.

I won’t see most of the 2018 Olympics

Just stay away from our manly chocolates alright?

Maybe it broke loose because the train hit a pothole.

You left out Dropbox and Amazon.

Yes but Alpine events tho.

Yes, but where can I watch that just shows the competition and none of the “up close and personal” shit?

Okay, I can understand the cameras and sensors not seeing a white trailer against a low sun in the sky... BUT A FLIPPIN FIRE TRUCK?

I can’t think of a single reason I’d need these over plastic zip ties, but I still feel like I should buy them...

I can’t think of a single reason I’d need these over plastic zip ties, but I still feel like I should buy them...

I... what?

This is exactly the kind of slightly lazy, petty revenge that I support.

When a bird poops on my car, I make sure to have chicken for dinner.

Friend just shared a friend’s FB post - she was in a Party City and was subjected to a hate-filled racist screed by a woman ahead of her in the checkout lane - she opened an air horn and blasted it in the woman’s face.