lets start a kickstarter, because this is hilarious

How much longer until someone offers this guy a huge advance for a tell-all book about his time living with Ted Cruz?

He was a partner in the Houston office of my law firm prior to running for Congress. Despite being largely conservative and Republican, everyone in the office (and the firm, generally) loathed him, so much so that to this day, no one wants to use his former office. It’s considered tainted.

Ted Cruz is that one guy on a night out who refused to get the bus with everyone else, and you’re stuck waiting around for him at the pub before the club for so long that you fuck off to the club (you call/text him and he doesn’t call back), only to get continuous texts with variations of “Where r u?” that you don’t…

Looks too much like Bill Murray there. That should not be.