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Howie
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Another NSX reference...sigh...

The ‘96 Impala SS “produced just 260 hp” but, uh, in the 90s that was pretty stout. 

The Sunfire was just a compact economy car, what’s wrong with people.

I strongly disagree with the Viper being on this list. It’s just that many who bought them are incompetent drivers. It’s a modern incarnation of what classic performance cars used to be. And old high performance cars absolutely would kill you if you didn’t know what you were doing. The original Porsche 911 and 930

The Impala SS absolutely doesn’t belong on this list unless we’re ready to include a bunch of 90's sports sedans. Not that the Impala was brilliant exactly, but at least on paper it’s got similar performance to a contemporary 540i at half the price (yes, feel, whatever, it’s half the price and pretty impressive

the Viper could hit 60 in 4.2 seconds, which is about the same as a V8 Wrangler 392.

Most of these aren’t performance cars, but just merely “sporty” looking shitboxes.

The US will protect US based manufacturers from the Chinese price dumping vehicles here. Keeping an industrial base is far more important than cheap cars. Not to mention there really isn’t any cheap cars done by anyone because they don’t make profit on them.

The average cost of a new car is something like 45K the last

Yes a 2nd gen Probe GT with a V-6 and manual was not a bad ride.

I can’t look at those without seeing the alien bounty hunter from The Last Starfighter.

I was curious too, so I looked it up. 200hp GM ecotec I-4 on a 1600lb body. 0-60 is reported as 4.9s. I imagine with no doors or roof, it feels FAST. And it comes with a 5 speed manual! I’m not hating it, as dorky as it looks. The Morgan 3 wheeler is way better looking but costs over twice as much. 

Anything from Zimmer:

WTF, why didn’t they just break the driver (or passenger) window and open the door instead of bashing the front windshield and handing the baby through the broken glass??

This is the best answer outside of obvious goofball stuff like the Cybertuck or Delorean. Making a blobby crossover less comfortable and ergonomic defeats the entire purpose of the vehicle. It’s not devoid of substance, the “style” deliberately gives it a negative value.

Except that Prowlers look much better than the heavy, misshapen CAD-developed lumps that are SSRs.

Available from 1987 to 1993, this is the Mustang Millennials had on their bedroom walls.

The BMW X6.

Have you not heard of 24hrs of lemons? Just about any asshole with a drivers license, a little bit of expendable income, and a $500 piece of shit car can be a race car driver. A good race car driver?!? Absolutely not. But the driver of a race car? Sure. 

Not with that attitude!