I did my year in Spotify yesterday. It told me that my first song of 2015 was “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea, which I understand because this past New Year I was home sick, then my sister came over because she got too drunk too early, and I tried to make her feel happy and fun for the new year. What delighted me was my most…

Man, thoughts to Kristin’s family. No snark. My family is currently facing something very similar with my older brother. It’s heartbreaking.

All I really have to add here is that I LOVE Jane the Virgin, and I am so glad I decided to start watching it. I am a fan girl, and Gina Rodriguez’s acting has impressed me, in light of how silly the show is.

DAMN, COCO. Damn. You look amazing. And, is that their house? It looks like the lobby of a fancy hotel decorated around 2004. I guess it very well could be.

I’m thinkin’ Kylie is aces right now because she’s lining Kris’ pockets at the current quickest rate.

She gets really emotional, similar to the Kristin Bell sloth video, except Kristin Bell is an adorable angel and it was a SLOTH, not Christmas lights.

Hearing her music will do nothing to better your opinion of her. She’s a serviceable singer, but her songs are total garbage. And she is an idiot.

I’m not going to deny that I maybe listened to Yellow and cried a few times over my HS boyfriend. But, Coldplay sucks. Who the hell is in charge of casting he halftime show? I hope the Black Eyed Peas are excited about this, they may be dethroned as Pesto’s Least Favorite Halftime Show After Madonna.

My mom has told me when I was 2-3, I picked that song up somewhere and would sing it nonstop in the back seat for quite a length of time. When she asked what I was singing, all I would answer was, “My favorite song.”

To be fair, I am biased and lazy. I have recently seen pictures of JTT. I googled the Home Improvement cast, and Brad is still lame-looking, Mark still will always be the child who was seven when the show started. According to Wikipedia. Even though I was actually about five when this show started, which is insane to…

I feel weepy. I don’t know what year I started reading Jezebel casually, but it wasn’t long after that I started admiring the comments made by one MorningGloria.

I’d fuck Brad, marry Randy and kill Mark. I wasn’t super into Randy in the day, but my lord how he has aged. I’m not into blonde dudes but Brad was hot. Mark was just never hot.

I’m coming in here late on the West Coast. I’m doing family Thanksgiving on Friday, and am contributing my delicious green bean casserole. It’s not my recipe, but my best friend gave me her mother’s (def NOT some mushroom soup shit) years ago, and I made it once and now my grandma has a card in her recipe box for…

Also, Fuck Wilson, Marry Al, Kill Tim! Tim has to die because EW. Jill was always too good for him on that show. Marry Al, because he’s a lovable curmudgeon. And fuck Wilson because you know he wouldn’t blast it.

As did I! At Tower Records, at midnight on release day, with my BFF and super awesome dad.

The kinda bitch in me feels the same way. She had the resources to be checked for the gene, then made the heroic decision to have preventative surgery then write about her heroic decision. Then remain very above media attention, until it behooves her to speak of her health ordeal as she’s releasing a movie. Not to…

Miss Moxie...I feel you so deeply. Not on the tower of Pisa, but in so many other instances in my life: school trip to the capital building, atop a giant sand dune on the Oregon coast, this past summer when they thought I was plopping into a straw basket of a chair with a swinging bar for a seatbelt, roped over a…

DANG you beat me to this by a millisecond.

“smoking pot more frequently and drinking more to numb the pain.”

A little back story: My younger sister has dated a guy on and off for ten years. This guy has been like my brother for about eight of those years. I dated his best friend for about the same amount of time only wayyyyyy more on and off, he’s my greatest love who’s a total a-hole boyfriend. Sister’s boyfriend (we’ll…