I have watched perhaps two seasons of Bachelor/ette, but somehow I cannot quit this particular Paradise season. I think it’s because I’m dealing with some stressful personal shit of my own, and these people and their ways just help me get away, two nights a week.

Those last three ALL OF THESE were more than enough to make me fucking ill at the state of humanity.

Her quote reeks of someone who knows they got off way too easily.

A list of OF COURSEs from Guy Fieri’s tweet:

I love soup so much, I have an idea for a soup-related app. It doesn’t exist yet, really need to get on that. In the last few years I’ve perfected a recipe I call, Roasting all the Vegetables in the Fridge, then Puree.

HEY-O. Fucking love true crime. Don’t even care. Especially on ID, it’s salacious and seedy and usually fun. My favorite show my far, however, is Disappeared. I prefer the episodes where it really does seem like the person just up and walked away.

I grumble about how much avocado costs...but fuckin tomato?! That’s a big fat NOPE as far as I’m concerned. True bullshittery of the highest regard.

I live in Idaho, and I swear to the heavens, I have told people that and two separate times, a person said, “Iowa?”

This 12 minute long Taylor Dayne joke has become a litmus test for people I consider friend-material. If you begin to fidget or ask me when this is over, or say “I don’t get it,” you can hit the road.

I don’t want him to die before he keeps watching the slow decline of his career and his fortune. I hope he withers away on the last few dollars he has, and dies right in time for his children have enough to pay for his disgusting existence.

I LOVE MY BOSS. Like, best manager I’ve ever had in my life. But a few weeks ago she made a comment like, “we’ll see...” about Bill Cosby.

Am I the only one who had minimal Sesame Street time? I knew my ABCs, I was skeptical of all that counting shit. I was pushed right into Mr. Rogers. I also was a smile-contest winner on Ramblin Rod, PDX folks what’s up?

Happy to be from Oregon, happier to live in WA now that I’d have to not try to buy legal.

Telling you - for a friend who lives a few miles from Washington state, anytime my friend is in need, he/she drives to Washington and buys marijuana, easiest thing on the planet. Cheaper than anything, and they never have an issue with an out of state license.

It’s like people have subjective feelings about things.

I have zero feelings about Ed Sheeran’s tattoo.

One of my favorite restaurants in town is this kind of modern, pseudo-fancy cocktail lounge and grill (their happy hour is next-level). The decor is kind of sleek, not at all shabby-chic, but for some reason they have a stupid, not-hand-painted wooden sign outside the women’s can that says “Life is short, buy the…

I seriously just had a conversation with a friend earlier today about how he’s an embarrassment to her and she needs an upgrade, YESTERDAY. Thank you Jezebel.

I’m a Liam kind of gal myself, but any of them can get it.

Pretend like laughing at a fart makes you The Realest Person Alive.