Habitat: Currently, mom's guest house.

Without intention, this has become my favorite gauge for friends. I show this to people, and they either sit intently and love it, or they start talking about something else halfway through because they're bored and/or can't take the awkwardness.

I thought of that shortly after posting. In MPH terms, 113 is crazy-town. 75 is what I normally drive on the freeway (70-75 is the posted speed where I live).

Not to victim blame, either, but are speeds between 113 and 129 acceptable in Canada? Not that I don't think this woman did something unspeakably stupid; but why would you go that fast on the freeway with your 16 year old daughter on board?

And then he re-strung his lute and masturbated into a rubber glove.

Ignatious J. Reilly?

There's a tiny town in North Idaho that does Go Cups. They used to have to be red only, but now they've actually started printing their own with a fun slogan about recycling. It works there because all of the bars are within a block radius, and you've inevitably heard through the grapevine that your old buddy is two…

Allrightalrightalright. I have to be up in four hours but wine and the sugars keeping me awake and I somehow missed Lindy West ranking MY FAVORITE THINGS until now. I am now reacting as I go, pretending I can't see #1. (I totally can, :))

Huh? Does that dude even have a job?

Great scott, I never knew! Are they well-made, because I'm about to place an order but mama doesn't pay $50 for bullshit.

While singing a song he wrote called, "It's Just a Word, White People Get Called 'Crackers' and You Don't See Us Throwing a Fit."

Um, where does he hang out, because he sounds like a priceless gem that I would love to know. (Besides the racist jokes. That sucks.)

I met a person who prefers yellow above all other flavors. He is a monster, but I will marry him someday because I can finally put the yellows to constructive use, and not promptly throw them in the trash where they belong.

I cannot even describe how being around/in water is to me, like the most soothing thing in the whole entire world. I'm a little chunkster with DDs, and I feel AMAZING when I put on my bikini, truly because I KNOW some people might be offended that I have the audacity. Putting on a bikini is just a reminder that I am…

REALLY. I'm a DD and cannot for the LIFE of me understand why I am relegated to nude or black. I ALSO WANT TO WEAR THE PRETTY THINGS. I do not want some jack-shit black thing with straps that are eight inches wide, EVERY TIME I SHOP FOR BRAS. My size is COMMON, get it together department stores.

REALLY. I'm a DD and cannot for the LIFE of me understand why I am relegated to nude or black. I ALSO WANT TO WEAR THE PRETTY THINGS. I do not want some jack-shit black thing with straps that are eight inches wide, EVERY TIME I SHOP FOR BRAS.

I wonder if Hayden pregnant means Juliette Barnes will end up bearing the spawn of Jeff Fordham, icky jerk. One can hope.

My niece's name is Mina! I think it's super cute.

Ohhhhh! I am such a name geek! And I just found out today that my best friend is pregnant, so I'm excited. She has two older brothers and six nieces, so everyone is realllllly hoping for a boy. They have a joke that the first boy in the family will be named Wrangler.

"Lookit!! I'm broke but I got mad designer clothes and take helicopters! I have no reason to be in Cannes!!! #blessed #sobriety #itwasntevenmydrugs" -Lindsay Lohan