I'm not sure America is ready for any females from my dimension.

"Steve Harvey made a YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE mistake. What we need to do is put all of these contestants in a database so we can better track them. We need to register them so that something like this doesn't happen again in the future. I mean, first it was Miss Columbia! Then is was Miss Philippines! I…

"Have you seen one of my turds? YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!"

Maybe I am and pooping keeps interfering!

I could only imagine the sad boring problems ghosts could have that would require them to seek therapy. Come on! You're dead! Travel! See the world! You're free of the inconvenience of having to poop! Live a little!

Ghost the rapist? They want us to kill them? Okay!

He looks more like regular sized Adam Driver than Matthew Broderick.

I will go on record and say if that happened, I'd go "Eh, not far enough."

Dirtbike Milksteaks

Wait… that was a hoax?

It's a drug used to treat toxoplasmosis, which AIDS patients are at higher risk for; it's not used to treat AIDS. However you want to spin this, it is a great way to smear this douche by suggesting he's screwing over people with AIDS.

Hurry! Get Bill Murray (on the phone)!

Ownership should default to Bill Murray.

We deserve all the bad things that happen to this country, like Donald Trump running for president.

I've only seen Adventureland, but that was enough to convince me she's not terrible.

He's got a Peter Lorre thing going on and that's… that's not good.

Too bad it doesn't help you figure out how to win the lottery.

Trust me - he would never vote for Trump or any Republican. He'd be disowned if he did so.

What was OJ all about? DNA? No wait, gloves.

Stop bragging.