You are wrong. Here is some "science, bitch!" with cited sources:

You keep posting this multiple times per article, in multiple articles. You are SUPER invested in telling women that they are wrong about their own goddamn bodies.

I think people are upset that — in a way sort of similar to the dolphin guy — I didn't spend any space in the interview representing public skepticism by telling the person that what they believe is wrong or untenable or unworkable.

My girlfriend would like me to point out that if she were going to go into battle, or fight someone, or do pretty much anything physical, she'd be wearing a good bra that doesn't allow for much movement despite her larger cup size, and doesn't understand video game costumes at all, nor why developers feel the need to…

the real heroes are internet commenters who are always here to remind us how much everyone sucks

You can train a person on a lot of stuff in 10 years. You can't train a person on patience, compassion, discipline, and tolerance.

I'm not offended by her leaving, and I wouldn't do it for the world.

I never thought I'd say I adore James Van Der Beek, but I adore James Van Der Beek. Don't Trust the B let me see him in a whole new light.

I love that Abbi is still wearing the dress she bought for the party last season. This is why I can always get down with Broad City. I see myself up there. Girls, not so much.

WILD STUFF

Those aren't pool noodles, it's pipe insulation. It comes pre slit and has adhesive to stick it to the table.

I really need everyone to be clear on this. If you throw out some lame-ass insult and then include a crying emoji, that doesn't make it shade. You will look dumb. Do not try that at home.

I'm getting a definite Annette Castellano vibe from that mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law consistently addresses letters to my husband and me as Mr. And Mrs. TheirLastName. Even though my husband and I have both made it very clear to her that I have kept my maiden name.

True story: I was once catcalled by a toddler, so every once in a while they are actually flirting.

GROSSSSSS. I hate when parents call their son a "Ladies man" and shit like that. He is not a ladies man, he is a fucking baby and stop trying to make people think of your baby romantically you fucking weirdos. Or even worse when people say their baby is "flirting with you." Ummm no he's not, he probably just has to…

SHADE

Moms who get all creepy possessive over their sons is just fucking weird and strikes me as some reverse Oedipus complex where the Mom isn't getting enough romantic attention from the kid's father/her husband/or other romantic partner so is trying to get it from her kid. This Mom is like metaphorically pissing all over…

I need an emergency shade ruling!!

I live and work in MN. Today is the first day that's been above zero all week. My winter hat is an AMAZING Hobbes hat that my girlfriend crocheted for me.

As in, it has ears and looks like the top of Hobbes head and I AM HOBBES WHEN I WEAR IT.

"...this time she closed the card with: 'From the woman who loved you first.'"