You keep insisting she's fucking someone else. Because a woman is always fucking someone. And if it isn't the man who is right there offering then it is someone else. It just couldn't be that the lazy sod she's married to has de-evolved into a lump who thinks foreplay consists of "hey, how 'bout it?" A woman/wife is…

Or, maybe, just maybe, she doesn't like to have sex? That happens, you know.

Doesn't that Orwell quote have some weird comma placement?

As I started reading this I thought "where the fuck do you live". After finishing I understand that it could be anywhere.

HAHAHAHA "whole herd of trees" oh my god, I'd probably shit my pants. The tree growled at you....

And deer don't fuck around, they're mean buggers if you scare them.

You might feel silly for mistaking an inanimate object for an animal, but it's much more dangerous if you mistake an animal for an inanimate object , or in my case mistaking a giant deer with a tree.

My friend was sitting outside on her back porch and just sort of smoking, enjoying the sunshine. She feels something jump up and sit beside her and, assuming it was her cat, starts petting it without thinking.

She looked down and it was a raccoon enjoying a little ear-scritch. I think she almost had a stroke.

I was walking home from work a few months ago when I saw a big cat just stridin' down the middle of the sidewalk. Totally bold, owning it. As it turned under a streetlamp I saw it was actually a big ol' raccoon, just using public sidewalks to get where he was going.

All these "mistook for animal crossing" stories are actually making me feel a lot better hahahha.

Don't feel bad. Yesterday I mistook a hand towel in the street for a wounded possum.

I once thought a llama was crossing the street in front of my bike but it just turned out to be a man walking his big dog, and he happened to be exactly in pace with the dogs front legs so they kind of melded together.

I was also on a lot of acid, so...

I once stopped my car in the middle of the street because I was so sure that a hedgehog was crossing in front of me. I waited for a solid 5 minutes (it was 3am, no traffic in a residential area) until I realized a)that's fucking stupid there are no wild hedgehogs in this area and b)it was actually a pinecone.

Why the hell do people think you can only be fired for something illegal? The government has to respect your freedom of (bigoted) speech, not your employer.

"...everything has to be boiled down to a simple la-la land for Prozac nation to swallow for their Wal-Mart families."

Every time Tweet Beat posts a Taylor Dayne tweet, someone posts this video. It gives me the smiles.

Yeah, I totally remember that. I was in there the other day, and I was like ohhh, maybe they'll have their new plus size stuff! Nope!

Oh yeah! Did you notice the design for this years' World Cup soccer ball? Brilliant, looks crazy hard to sew. Probably done with glue or robots or I know not what.

Oh, the thing I left out of my first long response — curved seams are not just different, they are *very much* more difficult. Lots of people can sew straight seams fine and not curved ones; or you add steps to production to keep the curves stable, and a new production order is actually expensive and hard to manage;…