Conor went from Liverpool to Brooklyn pretty quickly.

Oh....I get you.

I’m going to be perfectly honest about what I, a Deadspin consumer, did and would have done.

Wrong. A Canadian Standoff is when two people can’t decide who’s holding the door open for whom.

Yeah, Water is actually a great idea. Also, healthy snacks and a cooldown room.

I mean, my original reply is in reference to you saying Sidney Crosby isn’t the best player in his sport. My defense of him is that he’s won 3 cups and 4 conference titles, to go with 2 Conn Smythes and some individual awards as well. Now, I assumed you were annointing McDavid ahead of him, and he can’t even get a…

Oh this is a much better argument than I thought. I retract my statement, I assumed you were talking about McDavid. I will humbly congratulate Ovie myself on his division championship, when I see him on the golf course in 4 weeks.

You can tell him on the golf course in like 2 weeks.

I can’t argue with you there. If there’s one (and only one) thing that Ovechkin can win, it’s the division.

Big deal. I ate a bunch of Pringles off my stomach while sitting on the couch. NO HANDS.

...one that required perfect awareness, hand-eye coordination, and stick control.

How else can we expect Spurs fans to find the silverware?

Why does Deadspin, which uses the tagline ‘Death to the NCAA’ still cover college sports and therefore remains a cog in the NCAA’s fucked-up business machine? It’s like employing Hamilton Nolan and then having one of your sites run a podcast with McDonald’s. It makes no sense.

No, fuck that. Little truth time. I was savagely bullied from about 1st grade through Highschool. Small school, and it was one kid for 8 years that made every day of my life hell, but nothing ever happened to him because his daddy donated an entire fucking wing to the elementary school. I was undersized and had/have…

That’s why I always post in Incognito mode.

Not monitoring potential school shooters frees up some time.

Fun fact: they do have a garbage disposal type toilet! It’s called a macerator because it literally chews up your shit and TP. My friends built a bathroom in their basement where there wasn’t really any piping for one, and they had to install a macerator so that the flushed stuff could be forced upwards into the…

Come on, you’re better than this! My wife and I play in a bowling league together and we’re not fucking.

Barry, you prude, you’re acting like you’ve never stuffed a platonic friend’s muff in your face then transitioned her into a hurricarana in the name of competition before.

Maybe they just love each other like brother and sister? Like that nice Lannister family.