If the Dolphins go 0-16, they’ll still be regarded as no worse than the 3rd-worst team of all time, simply because they tanked. They aren’t trying to be good, so they don’t get extra credit for being historically bad because they couldn’t not be. (Note: all that changes if somehow they actually play Alabama and the…

Or, now hear me out, they go for Finniest. Drake secures, fumbles, and it's returned for the absolute Unicorn of a reverse 2 pt conversion...

It begs the question, had the two-point conversion been caught then wrapped up promptly by three defenders on the 2-yard-line, would that have been Finsier?

   Worst comment ever...

Rich Texan is a name. Of a guy. On The Simpsons.

This is the true answer. He found someone who never questions him and never looked back. Winning isn’t as important to Jerry as having his ass kissed. Everyone in Dallas knows it.

As an owner, doing owner-y things, writing checks and building facilities and laying the foundation for success, Jerry Jones is one of the best in the NFL.  

Considering the photos of Jerry we’ve seen publicly released (bathroom strippers come to mind), imagine how bad they must be. 

After science figures out dark matter, someone needs to get on figuring out the fundamental force of nature that always pulls the Cowboys back to .500

I don’t think so, Jerry just loves an ass-kisser and Jason Garret is the ass-kissingest ass-kisser who ever kissed an ass.

Entirely correct. The Cowboys organization is more about marketing and image than assembling a winning team.

Jason Garrett is the white Marvin Lewis, only because he’s the Cowboys head coach and their owner is Rich Texan, they’ll oftentimes be fraudulently listed as Super Bowl contenders, only to hilariously be smacked by a good team.

It’s okay, the Eagles secondary couldn’t stop a wet fart. They made Cousins look like a competent quarterback, for fuck’s sake. If the Vikings can move the ball at will against them then Dallas will probably eek out a win and I’ll have turned the game off before halftime.

The Jerry Jones era started out with Jimmy Johnson, who put together a team so good that Barry Switzer was able to win a Super Bowl with them. But since then, it’s been one of the worst-run franchises in the NFL, and has gone 20+ years without being remotely in contention for anything. The only reason that they’re not…

Will be very on brand when Philly wins this dogshit division at 6-9-1 and then wins a Super Bowl.

“Shit, that son of a bitch Fitzpatrick scored again. How do we lose this game without looking like we’re trying to lose?”

Whoever wants Trevor Lawrence should trade for Rosen ASAP