He’s a man, and he’s a man tasked with illustrating male fantasies for men. Are you not surprised?

Of interest: The porn industry is quicker to drop someone over allegations of rape than the NFL or NCAA.

What do you have questions about?! I can try to help! This is v v important stuff.

If you give m the $7K, I’ll give you the exclusive interview with me when my 32 plastic surgeries to look exactly like Kylie are complete.

Jerking off to the thought of denying refugee children entry to America.

Hey now! I work in the fashion industry. Not all of the fashion industrty is distasteful.

You're Kanyeing so good and I kind of love you for it.

Would you really cast shame on People for “exploiting” this? This, at least, is news, which is theoretically what they do. That magazine can go sit on a tack for their despicable and exhausting habit of putting dead women on the cover - Princess Di, Elizabeth Taylor, Audrey Hepburn, Natalie Wood, Marilyn Monroe - to…

Don’t forget Brendan Fraser’s cameo as the Vietnam vet.

Oh god ME TOO. People were like ‘OH JTT IS THE BOMB’ and I was like, NO. THAT IS A LIE. GIVE ME MY SCRUNCHY, WE ARE NO LONGER BEST FRIENDS.

I loved discovering that Drake dances like me when I’m alone in my living room.

Somewhere in Pittsburgh, Kelly and Christi are cackling loudly over a five-cocktail lunch.

How long before this is turned into a movie starring Chris Hemsworth, Chaning Tatum, and Zac Efron as the inmates with Leonardo DiCaprio as their coach?

I’ve never seen any of the Kardashian shows (I think I saw a sneaker ad with Kim and Kris once?), so I have no personal stake in the War of Kardashian Independence. But I will confess this: the deep, bubbling, effervescent joy I feel when watching people LOSE THEIR FUCKING MINDS about this family is profound. It’s…

My pants rn.

“Brian Austin Green on his divorce from Megan Fox: I’m gonna need spousal support!”

My best friend in the whole world is a woman who’s mother committed suicide 20 years ago. There is not a single day that goes by that my friend doesn’t think about her mom. Holidays are especially hard for her. And it;s been two decades.