Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh!

I'll tell John Sakars you said so.

Don't eat animals, that is sick
I'd rather hit my head with a fuckin' brick
Don't eat animals, that is sick
I'd rather swallow come from a zombie's dick

And thus barely legal.

The girl in the sex tape wasn't underage.

Be my victim.

You beat me to it. She's Mrs. Ben Lee, duh.

Come on. You'd hit it.

How does anal sex even exist? I can't get so much as a fingertip in there.

[requisite Jost apologia]

[requisite Jost apologia]

*Scientific proof that fourteen-year-old you were a fucking idiot.

Someone splice John Daker into this template.

Did the headline change? Because I don't see a question in it.

What?

As a Third Eye Blind fan, I have to laugh at Ocean fans' complaints. Like, get at me when it's been a U.S. Senate term, hepcats.

How is that a mixed metaphor?

How about that. The consensus changed quickly.

Yay!

And predictably, the consensus of the YouTube comment section is that Cohen "shut that bitch down."