What a devastating story.

How about adding a bit at the bottom with info for the suicide lifeline?

Why should I change my name?  She’s the one who sucks.

If you go to Waffle House and the waitress doesn’t call you “hun” is it even really a Waffle House?

100% agree. Seeing someone whip around 2" off of someone’s bumper for hours, while digging low in corners, pulling insane g’s to pull a “SLIDE JOB” is exciting as hell. People just don’t like that fact that not everyone likes the things they do and try to make them sound stupid for liking it. I don’t get it. I thought…

the patrons were there to watch the Dallas Cowboys game

You do realize that there’s only one 0,0 on the planet, right?

Exclusive film of today’s Deadspin staff meeting…

*door flies open*

What in the actual fuck is wrong with these people?

Small hole in this plan, the temperature is actually below freezing (26 °F) in Durham NC as I type this.

I would actually think a major factor in older contestants doing poorly in Jeopardy is getting the timing of the buzzer down. From my own experience, if your competitor is just a fraction of a second quicker on the buzzer, you’re never coming close to winning, and worse, when you do get a chance to answer, your own…

Its MSRP in 2005 was $20,700. With inflation that’s $27,400.

Well chute, that's not good.

100% with you. I also enjoyed that you called Logan Paul, Paul Logan. Whether it was intentional or not.

If I’m being totally honest— and I don’t share this often, because my fellow die-hard Futurama fans seem to build their fandom on “Jurassic Bark” being the best thing ever— but I don’t actually think it’s a terribly good episode. It’s sad, for sure, but I think it’s kind of pointlessly sad. Nothing is gained from how…

Better to owe than give the government an interest-free loan...

“It’s not fair! Colonel Sanders was always manhandling breasts and slobbering over thighs, and no one made him sign confidential settlements with the chicks involved.”

Except it was a terrible idea. If that guy had suffered a spinal injury (very possible falling 4 stories), flipping the SUV could’ve caused the injuries to worsen. Unless the car’s on fire or at risk of exploding, leave the person in place until the EMTs show up and can assess/stabilize.

His tunnel boring machine must have hit a major breakthrough, given the rate at which he is digging himself in a hole.