“Listen, it’s got nothing to do with her as a person, just the things she DOES as a person.”

“I’m not making another fucking web, OK?”

Too excited, went out like stink, died like a pig.

All microphones are hot.

No snark, Hannah Storm handles these unfortunate and unenviable reports with aplomb, striking just the right balance of professionalism and humanism.

The autopsy report says that he was killed by a .44 caliber bullet. Why don’t you go tell Brandon fucking Lee that the thing that killed him wasn’t a “real” bullet, I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear it.

And yet the dummy rounds they used on set were regular bullets with 3/4ths of the powder charge removed. This is a well known fact.

That “tiny piece of debris” was a bullet, you dip.

And Jon-Erik Hexum. Gun safety demonstrations and fictional live-action shows and movies featuring guns shouldn’t have anything in them with any amount of powder.

Those rules are great... if you’re a robot that can be programmed to always follow rules.

You can barely seem them nipples...

There’s no way the majority of olympians aren’t on some borderline illegal shit, right?

Pete Rose can eat shit.

Can we hire this grounds crew for the Pro Bowl?

Watching it in real time, I truly believed I had just witnessed her death.

There’s a strong intersection between the type of dude who wants a brown turbo diesel manual wagon, and the type of dude who would fly 5000 miles on a whim to see a woman he’s only texted.

Man. Girls aren’t real. They’re just something made up to get people to buy cars.

Did they ever find out if the girl was real? My money is on “No”.

The fetishization of working long hours in Silicon Valley never ceases to amaze me. In the vast majority of cases, it boils down to appearances more than being productive.

Well, I for one am shocked. I didn’t think we would hear a single story about anything being too secure in Rio this month.