"Oh hai, gun barrel!"

I was outraged. Then I youtubed her "comedy." Now I support solitary confinement for her for life. Just awful.

In a shocking twist, members of the Sochi police mistake selves for participants in a Pride demonstration and arrest and detain themselves.

This. "WHOOOOPPPPSSS. LOOK WHAT JUST POPPED UP. LOOK AWAY LADIES. NOTHING TO SEE HERE! Let me just pick the rest of that tri-pod off your yoga mat neighbor. The name's Snake. I mean Josh. Yeah, Josh. My friends call me Snake. Well, you've see the goods? Want to sample?"

Ok, I don't know anything about this Lego movie because I'm a grown-ass person, but apparently Liam Neeson is in it and he plays an angry cop who is also a Lego.

frenchfriesfrenchfriesfrenchfriesfrenchfriesPIZZA!!!PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa...

I don't either. She sounds like a fucking horrible person. I do not appreciate the way they do the death penalty in this country (super expensive, takes forever, often incorrect conviction etc). But I won't act like many of our death row inmates don't deserve it. I would have no problem personally shooting Richard…

...just as she murdered that man.

Texas murders a prisoner, you mean.

I feel no pity for her.

OK, so, well, then.....

"romantic Segway ride" BAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
DirtBag really delivered today, thanks Callie!

Thanks for laugh. I really, I mean really, needed that.

Man, not even two full days and someone's trying to steal their Thunder.

One could ask the question, is Jerry Seinfeld relevant anymore? He's only doing press because he was in a unfunny ad shown during the Super Bowl.

Could I, perhaps, persuade you to consider Elisabeth Warren instead of Hillary?

Well, anyone would run naked into the streets after a Super Bowl win if their city's NBA team ran away to Oklahoma City, if Sacramento shot down their chances of getting another NBA team (i.e. Eddie Vedder's recent hissy fit against Sacto), and if their baseball team hasn't won a damn division title in nearly 20…

The Seahawks are one of the youngest teams in the league, which means this isn't an anomaly—they're going to keep on winning.

I loved Sherman's comments a few days later when he called out all the "thug" commenters for just finding a new slipcover for the N word. He was 100% correct.