What i$ that you $aid? I couldn’t hear you over my fort of $tacked twenty dollar bill$.

The fate of trillions of beings depends on whether they purchased the Standard or Professional edition of Microsoft Project.

The difference between scientists and engineers:

Because the f35 has the best lol pics

Thank God!

This is good kinja.

If this was Jezebel, the title would’ve been “Entitled White Male Harasses Chinese Woman Online, Gets What He Deserves.”

internet g.i.r.l = guy in real life

I caught up on an entire week’s worth of Gizmodo in one comment thread.

If it’s a front-line bird, I just hope if it gets sick it stays in formation with the other birds. Don’t get a substitute bird in there, they’ll only increase the rate of infection.

But do they floss?

Hmm, he still hasn’t responded. Power must be out.

No. The lede picture crops out the easy-to-see cat completely. So the answer as posed is “No.”

Can you spot the man with a rifle in this photo?

Casey: You’’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it…

Give him a few. I just reset his circuit breaker.

And so Casey’s Turing Test begins.

Casey, prove you are not a bot by responding to this.

That’s just a rule. Rules can be changed; meanwhile, it’s those friggin’ sheep you have to watch out for.