Going to watch this video a million times and just sort of softly cry for a bit. Too young.

“Why was she sitting there in the first place, right?” - Ken Starr

You try running while looking the other way.

Thanks, I just had it waxed.

I’m just going to keep using this gif for as long as it applies.

Thoughts and prayers with the real victim of that wipeout, Art Briles.

Title Nein

You have got to shut the fuck about Mahomes. He throws over thirty times a game for a pass-happy team with no D that bangs against scrubs and gets boat-raced by ASU. He might end up being the next Brady, but he’s just as likely to end up being the next Colt Brennan.

“It’s a lot like Jack Nicholson in Batman, right? Grab a gun and shoot a couple of rich people if you want a better life. That’s just the way I feel.”

If that man is blind, I’m Stevie Wonder.

Question: Do you have an understanding as to the word consent?

Beltran ≠ Beltre

First they came for the Funnels, and I said nothing because I was drunk.

Can’t help but feel the response to this “joke” would be less positive had the genders been reversed.

Wonder who he learned that trick from?

She seems nice.

Tom, being not impressed.

When he started struggling to describe how the police were surrounding the man I got really worried for Kevin there.

I bet Lochte was pissed.